In Love With My Band Mate (JOSHLER)

11

I felt Tyler shift in my arms and looked at him as he opened his eyes, looking directly at me.
He smiled softly and curled back into me.
"Hi Joshy." He whispered.
"Hi ty." I said and kept him in my arms.
"Thank you for coming josh. I was so bad without you." He said and tilted his head up.
"Don't thank me thank Brendon he was the one who literally carried me out of bed and made me take a shower." I chuckled.
He giggled softly and kissed my jaw.
"I believe that but still thank you." He said.
"Anything for you Tyler." I said, and I meant it. If he told me to leave him alone for the rest of his life and never say a word to him again I would because that's what he wanted.
"Josh.....I'm sorry." He said.
"For?" I asked.
"I hurt you and broke your heart. You told me you were in love with me a-and I had sex with you and then just left you to think I hated you." He said.
I sighed and pulled him on top of me.
"Tyler....I did think you hated me but you're right you're married and we shouldn't have done it." I said. Truly I kinda didn't care but I want to respect him so I do.
"Josh....I-I love you. I am married but being without you I realized o love you." He said.
"So what are we gonna do Tyler cause one moment you love me the next you don't even look at me." I said.
He looked down in shame and I saw tears start going down his face. "I-I said I-I'm sorry jo-josh." He said, starting to sob so much his shoulders shook.
Seeing him cry I immediately felt bad and sat up.
"Hey hey shhhh ty I'm sorry it's okay don't cry shhhh." I said.
"I-I just don't know what to do. I've never felt this way about anyone but you and her no other man has or even can make me feel the way you do." He said burying his face in the crook of my neck.
I could only hold him and let him cry. I had to let it sink in that he loves me.
When he stopped crying he kept his arms around me and mumbled, "Joshy...."
"Hmmm?"
"I'm hungry." He said.
"Laughs softly." Of course you are I said and got up.
I carried him downstairs and set him on the kitchen counter to let him watch me cook.
As I made him some pancakes I listened to him hum and smiled softly hearing him in person again.
"You have no idea how much I missed you Tyler." I said.
"I missed you too josh." He said and smiled.
"Keep singing please." I said. His voice has always made me feel safe.
"Okay." He said and smiled then started singing to me again.
I listened to him as I cooked his food.
I couldn't help but imagine life like this for me, waking up every morning with Tyler and cooking him breakfast and maybe even a little one around the house.
Life would be amazing that way but I knew that wouldn't work because he's married and he'd never want me.
With those last thoughts I realized I had finished the pancakes and was already putting the butter and syrup on them. I guess that's what thoughts do to you huh.
I walked over and put the pancakes in front of Tyler and walked back to the stove turning it off and grabbed all the utensils and washed them drowning in my own thoughts of being alone in life.