Chapter One

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Unedited.

Every breath hurt, and felt like holes were in Sophie Foster's lungs, air leaking out, not letting her breath correctly.

She refused to let go of Fitz's hand. He hardly seemed to notice she was next to him, as he stared at the pale barked tree, with black leaves and teal blue flowers blooming. Fitz Vacker, seemed to be living in a grey haze, he looked at people without really looking at them, and he spoke without speaking.

It was like he was falling...and falling. Slipping out of everyone's grasp. No one seemed sure what to do as they talked to him, and him responding with short clipped answers. Sophie herself wasn't sure how to talk to him, so she settled for staying by his side. The tree sprouted next to Kenric's, the trunk was strong, and it sprouted up. Stretching towards the sky. Sophie wore a black and green dress, she had decided she would show as much respect as she could for Alvar. It had been a short and private service, Fitz hadn't moved he didn't even acknowledge Sophie when she had slipped her hand in his.

"Come on Fitz." Sophie said turning away from the tree she pressed her head to Fitz's shoulder. Fitz took a deep breath and for a moment Sophie thought he was going to scream, and shout, yell or cry, but he just let it out and looked down at her. "Okay." He said. Sophie pulled him away from the tree, and to the others where they waited for them.
Joining hands, they all leaped to Everglen. Fitz walked in behind his mother and sister. Grady and Edaline followed. "Sophie." Alden said quietly stopping her at the gate. Looking up at Alden, he pointed to the DNA strip near the gate.

"Della and I have talked, we want to grant you immediate access." Alden said. "You'll be coming over much more now." He said quietly. It wasn't a question, but Sophie nodded anyways. "I will." She promised. After getting immediate access to Everglen, Sophie hurried inside with Sandor. When she reached the sitting room Biana pointed up at the roof, meaning Fitz had gone to his room. "Wait here." Sophie told Sandor before going upstairs.

Fitz had left his door open for her, and he was sitting on his bed looking at what looked to be a orange ball. Sophie closed the door behind her and sat next to him. Inside the orange ball was what looked to be a drawn map. "He gave this to me." Fitz said. "He had made it himself. At the end, I wound up at the secret hide out, where he had piled up toys, games and prattles for me." Fitz's hand closed around the orange ball. Crushing it. Sophie quickly slipped it out of his hand, before it could break.

Setting it aside she felt Fitz forcefully relax his hand so he wouldn't crush her hand. Clearing his throat he stared at the floor. "What am I supposed to do?" He asked. His voice husky from trying to hold back tears. "Tell me what I'm supposed to do Sophie." He begged. Sophie remember asking Kyle the same thing. Taking her hand out of his, she placed it on his back. "Now." She said rubbing circles on the strong back. "Now you feel what you are feeling." She said. Just as it had for her, his grip snapped and tears started falling, splattering across the floor. As Sophie opened her arms he leaned against her sobbing.

Sophie held him close, running her fingers through his soft hair. The blossom of dull grey in his mind, explained his grief and sadness easily. "Tell me how you are feeling." She said, despite already knowing. "I should have said so much to him. I should of told him! I should of told him...I should have forgiven him. I should have at least said I loved him." Fitz cried. "I should have told him, he was still family."
Sophie blinked back her own tears, rubbing Fitz's back she knew exactly what he wads feeling. "He knew that. I know he did." Sophie said.

"He saved me." Fitz whispered. Taking a deep breath, Sophie got up her courage. "For that, I've never been more thankful to him. I don't.... I can't lose you Fitz. I'm glad your alive." Sophie said. "Because of him." Fitz mumbled, as he calmed his breathing. "Yes, because of him. I don't think Alvar would want you to waste what he gave you." Sophie said. Fitz sniffed as he sat up taking a handkerchiefs from his pocket he wiped his eyes and blew his nose. "Yeah..I guess you're right." He said. Sophie rested her hand on his shoulder blade. "I could of told you that." She whispered, trying to think of what Kyle would say. Fitz snorted his lips pulling up. It wasn't a smile, but it was a start.

"Do you still....do you still wonder about them?" Fitz asked. "Your human family and friends." He clarified. Sophie gave a sigh, it seemed as everything was weary, everything was painful, but she had seen the look on Fitz's face before. Just wanting to go to sleep and forget everything for the next few years.  The exhaustion of grief weighing down, feeling like you were drawing and floating all at once. "All the time." She answered. "They'll always be with me. With everything they taught me, every bit of love and hope they put in me I'll stay strong for them. Even though I might never see them again, I know they'd want me to stay strong, remain hopeful and love with everything I have. I won't lie, it's hard. It's hard to force yourself to put on a smile, it's hard to keep hoping...even in the darkest of times... Is when it's hardest, but that's when people need it most." Sophie said.

"Does it ever ease?" Fitz asked rubbing his chest. Sophie knew he was talking about the ragged pain of the feeling of his heart being ripped out and stomped on before being given back to him. Sophie wrapped her arm around him. "Yes. It does." She promised. "It will never go away, but it'll become bittersweet, people will come into your life and help push those pieces back together. They'll give you hope, but that pain." Sophie rested her hand over his heart, which was out of rythme but it continued to beat. "That pain there...it does ease." She said firmly. Fitz rested his hand over hers. "Promise?" He asked. "I promise." She said.

Taking a deep breath, Sophie felt hope seep into him, and the grey started to have small silver linings. "Okay." He said, with a nod he swallowed hard. "Maybe I should see how Biana is doing." He said. Sophie gave him a tight lipped smile. She herself couldn't seem to force a full one. "Yeah she probably needs someone right now." Sophie gave Fitz's back a final rub before she stood up. Fitz stood up. "I'm going to head home." Sophie lied as she hugged Fitz. "Be careful." He said hugging her tightly. "I will." Sophie said as she pulled away.

~

"Again we express our sympathies for your loss, but we are here to discuss a matter of dire importance." Emery told Sophie. She sat in the circle. All twelve councilors sat together at a round table in Emery's large office.

All the councilors looked to Alina who blushed and smile, her eyes sparkling. "I'm....stepping down from position as councilor." She said. "I'm getting married. Gordon and I want to-" Bronte cleared his throat loudly cutting her off. Alina shot Bronte a herd glare that rivaled his own. "You see Sophie. We need a replacement for Alina." Emery said leaning forward. Sophie nervously traced circles over the wood table.

"We need someone who is strong, resilient, and someone confident. We need someone who would be a beacon to the people in these dark times." Emery said. "We've searched for the exact person and found her." Emery said looking straight sat Sophie. Sophie's mouth suddenly felt like sandpaper. She swallowed hard, "You wouldn't have to take the position up for life, just until...this darkness passes, we are willing to open up a representative position for you, should you take this position." He said. "I have a cognate partner. Wouldn't that mess with being on the council?" Sophie asked.

"Yes about that." Emery frowned, he waved a gnome over, the gnome placed a book on the table in front of Sophie. Staring down at the cold hard black cover, Sophie felt dread settle in her st

Cognates separation course.

(I'm going to do another story that's AFTER Lodestar. Can you give me some title ideas?)

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