A World of Misfits

The visit

           

I'm trying to tie up this string around the stems of a dozen sunflowers so they will stop falling in every direction when she walks in. Her presence in the shop seems to change the weight of the air. She beams at me from the door, a plate of fresh baked goods in her hands. I let go of the string even tho I haven't finished the knot and it falls in the plastic container. The sunflowers all bend towards the floor but I leave them there. It takes me a few steps to reach her and I stop right in front. I feel suddenly very awkward. I mean, I barely know her. Well, no, that's not true. I'm getting to know her is a better way of putting it. But now she's here, in front of me, in my workplace, looking at me in my apron, with dirty hands and most probably dirt in my hair and on my forehead cause I repotted a kalanchoe earlier. I want to hug her, wrest my chin on her shoulder for a second, my hands on her back, but there's a plate of churros blocking me.

-Samuel, do we have a costumer? Asks Ursule from the back store.

Her heavy footsteps make her way to the front of the shop, making the ground shake as she goes. I turn around just in time to look at her squeeze through the door. I look at Murphy looking at Ursule, this woman who's more wide than high, expecting some kind of reaction to cross her face. I mean, she's one hell of a woman, she usually creates a reaction in people. But Murphy's smile widens and she leaps forward, presenting the place of goodies she's holding to the French woman.

-Hi! She says, her voice bouncing off the walls. I'm Murphy.

-Samuel's Murphy? Ursule asks, looking at me over the brown girl's shoulder.

I can feel my face turning bright red.

-I don't know about that, Murphy answers, but I'm sure as hell I'm the only Murphy she knows.

I smile to myself. I like that she didn't agree with Ursule. She doesn't consider me hers, or herself mine. Not yet at least. But she knows she's someone to me.

-I brought you some food.

-That's very thoughtful. Come, let's put them in the back.

Murphy follows Ursule towards the back store, looking over her shoulder to make sure I'm right behind her. Murphy puts down the plate on the wood table that's covered in ribbons and flower stems and walks around the back store, exploring with her hands the different flowers she finds around the room. Ursule sits down, already digging with both hands in the churros. I wait for Murphy to finish her exploration, looking at her from the door frame. Her face turns into a question mark in front of a collection of flower she doesn't know and she turns toward me.

-Freesia, I say.

She points another kind of flower, her face asking the question once again.

-Aster.

She walks up next to the lilies.

-These are like the ones you brought last time, she says.

-Lilies, I say.

-Yes! They have a strong smell! Grandpa didn't like it, said it covered the smell of the chocolate cakes. I didn't mind, I think they smell nice. What are these?

She points toward a white and pink amaryllis. I tell her the name of the flower.

-I like this one, she says, smiling at the flower.

-Splendid beauty, I say.

-Yes, that's true.

-No, I mean, the amaryllis means splendid beauty.

-Oh. Well, it suits her well.

She finishes her room tour and stops in front of me. I take her hand in mine. I know Ursule is looking at us so I don't kiss the girl in front of me. It's not that I'm embarrassed about anything, it just feels like kissing is still something new for us, very intimate, and I'm not ready to share it with others.

-Was there a reason you came over? I ask her, tracing little circles on her hand with my thumb, my other hand playing with her t-shirt.

-Was it wrong, she asks, a little flash of insecurity crossing her face.

-No! Not at all. I like it, a lot. I was just wondering...

She smiles.

-Yes actually. I came to ask you if you want to come over to my place Wednesday night. Wednesday night is girls night.

-I'd love to, I say.

My watches beeps at the moment and I check the time: 4 o'clock.

-Shoot, I got to run!

-What! Where? She asks, surprised by this sudden news.

-I have an appointment! I tell her. I'm already late.

I walk to the front of the store, she follows me. I grab my bag under the counter and turn toward her.

-I'm sorry I'm running off! I tell her.

-No, it's ok. I'll call you later.

I smile and head for the door, but turn around and pull Murphy to me. I press my hand against her cheek and my lips against hers. Our kiss lasts and lasts, every second making me feel closer to her. She pulls away and takes a step back.

-Go! You'll be late!

I run off, smiling at her over my shoulder.

***

-You were right to come see me, doctor Amanda Blaze says. Your levels are all over the place. So you fainted?

-Yes. And nose bleeds.

-Nose bleeds with an S, or just once.

-It was only one time but it just happens again on the way here.

She looks at me for a moment in silence.

-How are you feeling apart from these incidents?

-Tired. And I don't eat much, I'm just not that hungry.

Doctor Blaze nods. She motions me to stand up and go to the table in the corner of the room. I sit on the white paper that crunches under me. The doctor takes out her stethoscope and places it on my back.

-Deep breath, she asks. Exhale.

We do this four times, then she looks at my eyes with a little light. When she's done, she asks me to stand up and go on the scale. I do as I'm told, looking at the numbers indication my weight after she adjusts it.

-Barely any weight loss, she says out loud.

She goes back to her desk, writing something down. I sit back down on one of the comfy blue armchairs that populate her office. Amanda looks at me for a moment, pressing her hands together. I know what these hands together means, it's her indicator for bad news.

-I know, I tell her. I've known for a while.

She nods.

-I'm still going to send you to testing, but yeah...I'm pretty sure your leukemia is back.