Remember Then

XXXII. For Now Farewell

"Would you leave Miss Sophia and me for a moment, Fanny?" Nicholas said in a calm and distinct voice, despite the ringing in his ears, despite the loud and wild rampage in his chest.

Fanny's eyes flickered toward Sophia for a short second before she bowed her head and exited the room, the cloth cover for the clay still in her hands.

The discrete closing of the chamber door was a clear signal for Nicholas to slowly face Sophia who seemed to be indifferent, acting nonchalant as she finished tying her sandals.

"You do have a gift for molding," Nicholas said, breaking the silence, leaning his hand on the table beside the bust of clay. Now that he had a closer look, he realized she had not finished molding his ears.

He saw her stiffen for a while before she shrugged. "You must realize you are the last man whose face I have memorized by touch, my lord," she said calmly and softly. She looked up, her gaze blank. "Is it perfect? You can have it as a parting gift."

Nicholas closed his eyes to maintain a bit of patience. When he opened them, Sophia was straightening on the bed, her face impassive than before. What was going on in her mind? What was she thinking? Was she nervous as him? Was she angry? Was she devastated? Desperate?

He wished he could see through that blank look in her pale olive eyes.

But she had closed him out now as she did one year past. She was once more prepared to let him go without giving herself a chance.

He saw her struggle with a smile. "Do not feel utterly honored, Nicholas. I molded that clay with the intent to mock you. It is unfinished."

"Yes, I see that one ear is missing."

"I did not mean to mold an ear."

"You were not?"

She nodded. "I was trying to figure a way to put a knife through it. But I believe a sword shall serve me better as it will reach the other ear."

Nicholas sighed and rolled his eyes. He grabbed the chair facing the table, lifted it off the ground and settled it in front of her.

Sophia stiffened as he slowly sat down facing her. He leaned against the chair, arms crossed over his chest and one leg over the other in an easy and relaxed manner.

"And what else do you intend to do with it?"

She shrugged, her composure slowly disintegrating. "Find a pole to attach it to and have it on display outside the cottage with a sign that says, 'unleash thy anger here'."

"Hmm. They will not appreciate it, Sophie. It will merely scare your bloody neighbors."

She nodded. "And you."

The corner of his lips lifted into a smile. "Because you do not like me at all?"

She nodded. "Well, I do not entirely hate you."

"And you do not love me either, yes?"

He watched as she blinked and her mouth opened to form the lie he knew she was about to say. But she did not utter them. Mayhap she couldn't or perhaps she no longer wished to bother with a lie.

Either way, his heart was already celebrating. Bloody tarnation, he could even picture his own mother planning another engagement ball and a grand wedding! He knew he was close to turning that picture into reality.

He simply had to be patient, insistent and desperate.

"Why did you not tell me you tried to stop the ambush, Sophie?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper.