Loving A Deformity

Chapter Five

Alec didn't talk to anyone after that. He didn't text or call Sunday and was almost mute Monday. Kiley just figured he still felt under the weather but Cera sensed something wasn't right. Still, she kept her mouth shut, not wanting to call him out or make him uncomfortable in any way. He still took her books and helped her with other small things but he was just so quiet. It made her concerned but it didn't seem to bother Kiley at all so she tried to dismiss it. Besides, why would Alec tell Cera anything about his private life? He hated her still, as far as she was concerned. Him helping her with her books and stuff was him simply trying to make up for the minor guilt he might have. Nothing more.

After a long day, Alec was finally able to go home. I need to apologize. He thought. It won't erase what I did but at least I might feel better about myself afterwards. He tried thinking of a way he could get her alone without seeming weird as he jumped in his car. He needed to find a way to get alone with her so he could fully explain himself and sat sorry the right way. He turned on the engine when he saw Cera walking out of school. He watched her and waited for her mom to show up to pick her up but Cera kept walking pass the pick up spot and continued down the street. She walks home. He realized and started driving. He drove up next to her and said,
"Hey!" His window was already down. Cera looked, saw him, and stopped walking.
"Hey, wassup?" She smiled.
"You walk home?"
"Usually, yes. Why?"
"Hop in. I'll give you a ride." Alec offered.
"It's fine. You don't have to-"
"Cera, get in the car." He grinned politely. Cera smiled and got in the passenger. As soon as she got in, Alec locked the doors. Cera looked at the door, confused.
"Why-"
"I need to tell you something." Alec said and they looked at each other. "But you need to promise me you won't tell your mom you know I know." He said.
"What is it?" She asked. Alec looked at the steering wheel blankly.
"How long was it before you could get in a car again?"
"Huh?" Cera asked, stunned. Her heart started beating rapidly.
"Obviously, being in a car doesn't bother you much anymore so how long was it before you could get in another car?" He asked again, a little more forceful. Cera stayed quiet a moment.
"Three months." She said. "Most of my memories from the crash erased themselves so I guess it was easier for me than others." She shrugged. "How much do you know?"
"I know about your brother, David Johnson." He admitted. They were quiet for a moment in the car. "How does Kiley not know you had a brother? You were friends years before the accident."
"My brother may have loved me, but he was also my bossy and annoying older brother." Cera smiled. "He always told me never to tell anyone we were siblings. If I did, I got to hang out with him over the weekend. I think he did it just to bug me..." She giggled. "I never had Kiley over unless David was gone. After the accident... I didn't want to explain it. I felt... the more we hung out, the more I could pretend I never had an older brother. As long as we were friends, I could forget about him for a couple hours. I know that's selfish but... I felt responsible for his death. I didn't want to feel like a murderer all the time. Besides, I didn't want anyone else knowing. I already felt like a killer. I didn't want to be told I was one for people's amusement." There was silence in the car.
"I tormented you for years." He started. "Told you you were weak and worthless... you never even talked bad about me to your parents... you delt with grief and guilt you shouldn't have been feeling... all while I drilled into you how pathetic and useless you were... all because of some pride... my damn pride..." Alec balled his hands into fists. Cera was a little scared of him. "How the hell can you be nice to me?" He looked at her, making her jump a little. She didn't fully understand where he was going with what he was saying. "How can you even look at me?" Cera was shocked at how shaken he was. She thought he felt a little guilty but nothing like this.
"Alec, what're you talking about?"
"I treated you like crap after everything you've been through just because of a stupid thing that happened years ago- how can you be nice to me?!" He shouted.
"I wanted the torment to end. So I decided to be nice so you won't hate me." She said honestly. She was still scared of him but she couldn't move. Besides, the damn door was locked. Alec stared at her.
"Cera?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm so sorry." He said. Cera stared right back at him. "I am so so sorry. I'm sorry for everything I've ever said... I'm sorry for my pride... I'm so sorry."
"I forgave you a long time ago." Cera said softly. "It's okay, Alec. You may have been a jerk, but you didn't break me. You had no idea what was going on in my life. It's okay. But thank you for the apology." She smiled. Relief flooded Alec. He could finally breath after feeling as if he was soffocating. In the heat of the moment, he hugged her. He hugged her for a very long time. Cera didn't dare object. She's been waiting for this moment for years. Finally, after so long, she truly felt she wouldn't have to be tormented by him any longer. She was, officially, free of his torment.