Loving A Deformity

Chapter 17

On the way home, Gabe and Chris talked about the trip as if they were the only two in the car. Gabe was driving (and since they weren't far from home, he was going to drive the rest of the way), and Chris sat in the passenger. Kate took over the back seat and put her ear buds in to take a nap. Alec sat in the middle of the middle row, like before, and Cera sat to his left.

Alec and Cera didn't talk but happily sat in silence, looking out different windows. That was, til Alec thought about her, randomly. He looked at Cera who stared out the window, spacing out as she often did. Her mind liked to wander when she didn't have to pay attention to anything in particular and it made Alec crazy. What could she possibly be thinking about? Alec even joked about how he'd love to pick her brain and she what goes on in there. He also liked looking at her when she spaced out. Most of the time, like now in the car, she thinks of something happy and smiles. Alec loves when she does this because her smile is pure and genuine. During the time she spaces out, she looks happy. She looks to be at complete peace with herself. Other times, she thought about things that made her serious or feel angry. Oddly, Alec admired her stern expression. For so long, he tried to see her as lesser than- not even human. But when she spaced out and looked stern, you could see all the emotions she tries so hard to hide. You can she her pain, her grief, her sorrow. You can see her insecurities and her rage. No one else seemed to see it the way he did. Maybe because he knows about her late brother, he wasn't sure. But Alec saw her as completely vulnerable in those few moments of her not paying attention. She was the most human then. It was beautiful and intimidating at the same time.

But, right now, she was smiling. Who knows about what. Alec was feeling bold so he leaned close to her so the boys wouldn't hear them talk.
"Whatcha thinking about?" He asked, grinning, and Cera snaps out of it and with a little jump, looks at him. Upon seeing him, she relaxed. "Sorry. Didn't mean to scare you."
"Don't worry about it." She smiled and blushed.
"So, whatcha thinking about?" He asked again.
"Nothing." She shrugged and looked out the window.
"Really?" Alec asked flatly, in disbelief.
"Really." She nodded, not looking at him, honestly. Cera had no idea what she was thinking about. All she knew was that it made her happy. That's usually how it went with her happy thoughts though. She alway forgot them after snapping back into reality. Alec thought for a moment. He wanted to keep their conversation going, at least, as much as he could. But he knew when she wanted to be quiet, she was quiet.
"Are you tried?" He asked as softly as he could. Cera looked at him and smiled.
"Not really." She shook her head and looked out her window, hoping to space out again into her other world. Alec felt disappointed, oddly.
"Well, I am." He decided and rested his head on her shoulder, which stunned her.
"M-my shoulder isn't comfortable." She blushed. Due to her disability, her shoulders were small and bony compared to the rest of her body. Alec realized it to be true and sat up straight.
"Yeah, you're head is more comfortable." Without warning, he took his right arm around, touched her left cheek and pulled her to lay on his shoulder before he rested his head on hers. Cera felt a bit out of her comfort zone but in a good way. She didn't object but rather smiled. Him wanting to rest his head on hers... made her feel cared for, strangely. It was the smallest of gestures but it meant the world to her. Alec on the other hand, felt he was losing his mind. He was just like this because of his dream. That's all! He's letting his dream influence him... right? He never thought about her like this before. Why did he act like this all the sudden? Stop it! Don't think you li- no. I'm not even going to finish the thought. This is cause of that dream! Nothing more!

Still, Alec fell asleep, resting on her.

***

A few weeks later, it was getting close to Alec's birthday. About a week prior to the event, everyone was hanging out at Alec's house. They all sat in his room together. Chris and Gabe played Mario cart on his TV while Sitting in really comfortable bean bag chairs. Cera sat in the spinny chair that she pulled from Alec's desk. Alex just sprawled out on his bed, relaxing.
"So, what're you doing for your birthday?" Cera asked, smiling and excited.
"Nothing." Alec said flatly. Cera frowed.
"Why not?" She asked.
"He usually goes to parties." Gabe spoke up.
"Well what's stopping him from doing that now?" Cera asked. Chris and Gabe didn't respond, hoping Alec would think of an excuse.
"I just grew out of it." Alec said cooly.
"What do you mean? Arn't parties supposed to be fun? Kiley always tried to force me to go but it wasn't my scene. I'm more of a 'stay in and curl up with a good book' type."
"Well, maybe I am too, now." He decided.
"Alec, you hate reading." Cera laughed, making him pause.
"I mean the stay in part." He groaned.
"Wait, did you ever go to a party?" Chris asked.
"No. It was always made excuses cause she wouldn't let me get out of it just because I didn't want to see people that weren't nice to me- like Alec." She said, shrugging. A serge of guilt ran through him. "Come to think of it, there were a lot of people I aviod... a lot of them were friends of Alec..." Her voice trailed off. Worried she figured something out, Alec grabbed one of his basketball magazines to cover his face. He didn't do a great poker face- especially for Cera. Cera looked at Alec. "You're not friends with a lot of those people now, aren't you?" She asked, putting it together. Alec didn't say anything. "They don't invite you out anymore because of me..." Cera looked at the ground, guilty. Alec sat up.
"Hey. I like it better like this. I'm glad I have some real friends backing me up. I wouldn't trade what we have, ever. I'd much rather hang out with you- anyday." Alec said, giving Cera an idea.
"You mean that?" She asked, still looking down.
"Of course." He smiled.
"I'm holding you to that." She suddenly smiled at him. "How about Chris, Gabe, and I treat you to a day out and we can do anything you want." She offered.
"Really?"
"Yeah! We can go to the beach, go to a movie, buy anything you want from TGI Friday's." She smiled. That was his favorite food place, right above Hooters. Alec was more than just tempted.
"We can go there for lunch and have Hooters for dinner!" Gabe said.
"If you're paying." Cera scoffed.
"Deal!" Gabe glanced back. Alec laughed with Cera before she looked in his eyes.
"So, sound good to you?" Cera asked.
"Sounds perfect." Alec nodded.