Loving A Deformity

Chapter 31

It's been a few weeks and there has been some changes. Like, a few. Alec was trying hard to include Kiley, despite the fact Cera seemed to start ignoring him. She hardly talked to him outside of the study day they still went to. Alec felt it was the only time things were good with Cera, despite Josh being there too. That seemed to be the only time Cera would ignore him. Maybe Alec was being dramatic. Outside of studying, she's been trying to catch up with an old friend. He shouldn't be as bothered as he is but, here he was, knowingly jealous. It bothered him how she was so comfortable with him. He felt replaced. Kinda like how he did with Ben but it was different now. Thoughts ran through his head all the time. What is she starts liking him? What if she already likes him? What if he likes her and they- Alec couldn't finish the last thought. It bothered him too much. Reguardless, he knew what he might have to do, give them his blessing. Not that he really had the right too but, he felt he had to bring it upon himself to let Cera go when it came time. He needed a hobby. Something to do that didn't involve Cera. Something to get him mind off things. Which is why he reluctantly joined the football team and somehow made it. Fortunately for him, there was a need for new players on the varsity team. Their school wasn't incredibly good anyway so it's not like Alec would put the team at a disavantage. It was just something to get his mind off Cera for five minutes. Of course, this definitely kept him busy. His time at the self defense classes got shorter and shorter, which made Cera sad but she tried to encourage him going into football with Chris and Gabe. However, as much as she liked him having a hobby and getting time with the guys, she missed him. It was like he was slowly drifting away and she didn't know how to stop it. Cera partially blamed Kiley. Alec kept on trying to push her back in the group, which made it uncomfortable to talk to him. As a result, she felt pushed to just talk to Josh. Josh was great, but he wasn't Alec. Again, she missed that dork.
"Hello?" Josh waved a hand in front of Cera's stern face that was spacing out. "Earth to Cera! Come in!" Cera blinked a couple times before snapping back into reality and looking at Josh.
"Huh?" She asked.
"I asked if you understood question 7." He said.
"Oh." She blushed and looked at her papper. "No. I suck at math... Alec always explains it to me..." her heart ached, mentioning him. He couldn't make it to study that day and as a result, Josh and Cera sat together like sitting ducks. They were good at the same subjects. Meaning, they both sucked at the same subjects as well. Cera looked at her paper- flooding with numbers, equations, and formulas she didn't understand and sighed. Josh watch her carefully. He saw the disappointed look and her sad eyes. He could tell what she was thinking.
"You like him, don't you?" He grinned lightly. Cera looked at him with a red face.
"Huh?" She asked. "Alec? No way." She scoffed and readjusted herself to better look at her paper and avoid Josh's gaze, but he only smiled wider, knowingly.
"Cera, I don't think you're being honest with yourself." He said, not even flinching upon seeing her death glare. Cera especially hated how he seemed to be the only one immune to her intense stares.
"No." She said again. Josh sighed with a side smile.
"Cera, he's your friend, right?"
"Of course."
"And, in that way, you love him, right?"
"Yes."
"And you may have enjoyed the idea of him asking you out... am I right?" He grinned. Cera just stared at him blankly, not responding for a moment. She blinked.
"I'm never admitting anything." She promised.
"Why not-"
"Because then it becomes real and then I'll have to do something about it and then I'll loose him." She spilled. Josh made his mouth in a straight line. "You know, I'm going to be honest. For a long time, I thought if I ever admitted to anyone how... how I felt... he would just hate me again. But I know him now. I know exactly what would happen if I confessed. But if I admit to myself... I'll have to say something. And I will never like him again nor will I ever confess."
"Cera?" Josh smiled. "You may not want to admit it, but the fact remains." Cera felt her heart beat, knowing that what he was about to say was true.

"You like Alec Rhodes."

Conversation between them died. Cera didn't want to talk about anyone or anything. However, they started talking about homework slowly and eventually reaching a new topic of conversation.
"So how's your girlfriend doing?" Cera smiled, making Josh chuckle. Pink rose to his cheeks, showing to Cera he was embarrassed.
"Maria is fine. Things have been a little difficult with the time change, with her bring in Kenya and all, but it's not going to last long since we plan on going to the same community college." He shrugged. "Neither of us know for sure what we want to do so we're hoping we'll have it figured out by then."
"Well good for you two! I miss Maria, she's so sweet." Cera swooned, having met her before.
"Believe me, she missed you too. I'll be sure to passed the word on to her." He laughed before they continued to talk about random things.