Loving A Deformity

Chapter 32

Alec felt like an idiot. No, he was an idiot. Here he was, less than a foot away from the girl he cared so much about and the closest thing they had to conversation is talking about math. It wasn't much better on Cera's side either. She wanted to talk to him but... it just wasn't working.
"Wanna stay over tonight?" Cera proposed.
"Like, over night?"
"Yeah! We can watch movies, talk, eat food..." she thought aloud as she played with her pencil and Alec folded the corner of his paper over and over again.
"Sure. If you're parents let me. My mom is working extra hours so she won't miss me."
"Cool. Actually, my parents will be heading out for the night and won't be back til the afternoon tomorrow so," She winked at him. "Let's just not say anything to them." Alec grinned and let out a huff.
"I guess I am a horrible influence on you." He joked. Cera smiled wider.
"We can go get snacks after they leave." Cera smirked before returning focus to her paper and starting to do her work. She didn't even realize his look lingered on her as he grinned, thinking about how much she's changed in the years they've known each other. His attraction to her grew as she did- as she grew into who she is, his emotions and feelings grew for her. The more she was her the more he felt for her. Alec blinked at her focused expression. He sighed, looking at the loose strand of hair that wasn't tucked behind her ear. Admiring her focused eyes, eye brows pressed together, and lips that she pushed into a thin line, he almost didn't even think twice when he reached and tucked the strand of hair behind her ear. Cera looked up at him, loosening her expression and replacing it with something else. Her eyes were big and soft, eyebrows were no longer knitted together, lips were separated ever so slightly, and a blush colored her cheeks. A grin tugged at Alec's lips from his neutral expression. He let his hand fall away and kept looking at her.
"Sorry, it was bothering me." He chuckled, reffering to the loose strand of hair. Cera only blinked. She felt that before. It was familiar. Why did she remember that?

Suddenly, the memories hit her. All those times of falling asleep while they were studying and waking up to her hair tucked behind her ear. He did that.
"I-It's okay." Cera studdered and looked back to her paper, avoiding his look. Her heart beat rapidly and she was freaking out a little. Still, she felt relief when he finally looked away. Unknown to her, he felt shame. She probably thinks I'm creepy, he thought with a mental sigh. He wasn't connecting his actions to his brain and he was currently kicking himself for it. Meanwhile, Cera was withholding a giggle. She felt stupid but she was also floating on air.
"Honey! Your father and I are heading out!" Kate came down the stairs. Cera looked as her parents trotted down the stairs with their luggage before standing and walking towards them. Alec followed.
"You're heading out now? I thought you wouldn't be leaving for another hour or so." Kate set her luggage down to talk with Cera as Shawn only set one hand full of luggage down in order to open the front door. He quickly scurried out.
"We were going to." Kate sighed audibly. "But we decided to go out early to get dinner." This is when she notices Alec. "You two will be alright, right?"
"Oh, I'm sure we'll be fine." Cera nodded.
"Here, let me take these for you." Alec said, abruptly, before taking the luggage that Kate had brought downstairs and walking out the front door.
"Thank you." Kate had said, smiling at him as he left. Both woman watched him leave before facing each other. Without a word, they communicated. Telepathically, Cera told her mom to stay safe and have a nice trip and Kate said to stay out of trouble and relax. After a long of moment of looking at each other, giggling, and talking telepathically, they hugged.
"I love you, mom."
"I love you too, baby." Kate said in Cera's shoulder. They held on each other for a long time. Kate pulled away first and held her daughter's shoulders as they smiled. "Now, I need to ask you something and I need you to be one hundred percent honest with me."
"Sure." Cera nodded. Kate glanced out the window to see her husband and Alec still loading the car. Kate looked to Cera, who looked at her, expectingly, before whispering to her,
"Did you get feelings for Alec, again?" Cera's smiled disappeared.
"A-again?"
"Do you have feelings for Alec?" Kate didn't want to be bambarded by questions about how she figured out Cera liked Alec in the fifth grade. After rephrasing her question, Kate watched Cera's eyes zig zag and blink rapidly. Her eye brows press the bridge of her nose, making wrinkles in her forehead. Cera opened her mouth partially, going to answer, but no words formed. She didn't have anything she could say- at least out loud. Kate smiled wider. "I'll take that as a yes." She giggled before kissing Cera's cheek and starting towards the car. Cera felt her legs move and upon reaching the doorframe, shouted,
"Wait!" But Alec appeared, making her jump and move back a little. She gasped at first but quickly sighed it off.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." He chuckled.
"It's... okay." She nodded, without much expression, before looking to her mom as she got in the car, obviously happy with herself. Cera sighed in defeat. There was no point in hiding her feelings from her mother anymore. All she could do is hope and pray her dad wasn't updated. Alec looked from Cera to the car as it was driving off. He wondered what Kate and Cera talked about but didn't feel it was his business to pry.
"Let's finish our homework." Cera said abruptly before disappearing in the house. Alec walked in behind her. "After we finish, we can go get snacks." Cera forced a smile as she looked back at him. He sensed something was off- he could tell her smile was forced with the way her eyes seemed to lack the light that was in them when it was genuine- but didn't press. It didn't seem like the time to get in deep conversation. Unknown to him, it wasn't that she was upset or sad. She was simply worried. Cera was worried her feelings for Alec would start to grow and it would lead to her screwing up the best friendship she ever had. She didn't want to hear him, understandably, reject her or, out of pity, lead her on until he couldn't deal with her anymore. She didn't want them to be awkward around each other more than they already were. She liked were they were in the relationship. They were safe. They were good.

***

Later that night, Cera and Alec sat on the couch together and watched movies while eating a buch of snacks they got at the store. They talked and laughed and just had a good time sitting together, enjoying each other's company. That was, until Alec spoke.
"So, what did you talk to your mom about?" He asked, eating a hand full of popcorn.
"Huh?" Cera looked at him, knitting her eye brows together and eating a milk dud.
"Well if you don't wanna say, that's cool but I just thought you might wanna talk about it- it seemed to upset you." He shrugged, shoveling more popcorn. Cera blinked and looked down, thinking about what she should say. She couldn't tell him the truth- not the whole truth anyway- and she couldn't lie to him.
"She..." Cera studdered. "She thinks I like someone." Cera shrugged, making Alec pause and look at her. Cera still avoided eye contact and looked at the ground. Alec swollowed, suddenly nervous.
"D... Do you like anyone?" His question caught her off guard and caused her to look at him through only the light of the movie that was playing on the TV. After blinking a couple times, she looked away again to the TV and tried to relax.
"Doesn't matter, anyway. He doesn't like me."
"Now who does that sound like?" He grinned, referring to himself. Cera grinned involuntarily.
"I'm serious, Alec. He likes someone else."
"How do you know?"
"He talks about her... about how perfect she is... I even met her and she's Beautiful." Cera blushed. She started playing with her fingers in her lap.
"You're beautiful." Alec blurted before he could think. Cera froze and her breathe hitched. He thinks I'm beautiful? She wondered before shaking her head so lightly, Alec didn't see it. He's just saying that to make me feel better. Alec felt his heart beat faster. His breathe got shallow. How could he just blurt that? Here she is, talking about a guy she likes and he's hitting on her???

Alec cleared his throat before looking away, embarrassed. He shouldn't have said that.
"Liar." Cera tried to laugh like he was joking. Alec looked at her, suddenly concerned.
"You don't think you're beautiful?" He asked in a soft voice that made Cera shiver. She still avoided his gaze.
"I think I'm pretty." She shrugged. "But... I'm no competition or threat to the girl HE likes..."
"Hey." Alec moved closer to her on the couch. He actually grabbed her hand and started rubbing his thumb over her wrist, since her hand was so small. "Never doubt for a second that anyone would be lucky to have you." Cera stayed quiet and didn't look at him. "I think you are beautiful, smart, hilarious... You're mature and strong..." he went on. Cera felt conflicted hearing him complement her. She loved hearing him talk about how he thought of her like this but it also made her wonder if he was just trying to be a good friend when she wanted him to not only be honest but not be a mere friend! Alec was pouring his heart out to her, but she was hesitant to trust his words. Not because she thought he was lying to her. But maybe he was exaggerating what he thought of her.

Alec went quiet for a moment, thinking about what he was going to say next.
"Cera?" He tried to get her to look at him. She didn't move at all. "Cera, please look at me." He said softly before Cera slowly turned her head lazily to look at him tiredly. A frown was prominent on her face. "Remember what I told you so long ago?" This made Cera press her eye brows together. Alec saw her confused expression and grinned. "Love is so much more than what you can't do." He almost whispered, being inches from her face. Cera felt her face immediately loosen up and become neutral in expression. She was a little shocked. He knew it wasn't just her looks or her intelligence. It was her ability that scared the crap out of her. "You are not a burden." He continued. "And you have been such a blessing in my life alone- you don't even know." He smiled brightly at her. Cera felt her heart beat faster. She didn't even realize she was crying until Alec used his thumbs to wipe her tears away. Cera sniffled.
"Would you date me?" She tried to make it sound like she wasn't actually asking him. Without hesitation, he said,
"Yes. I would."

Without thinking properly, Cera did something she fully didn't regret, and fully regretted. She leaned forward, and kissed his cheek. Alec was stunned; to say the least. They both blushed bright red.
"W-what was th-at for?" He studdered, forcing a grin in the mist of his shock. Cera thought about her reasoning for a moment.
"For being there for me." She said almost questioningly. "For being my friend." This made both Alec and Cera's hearts fall. He'd never actually like me, she thought. She only sees me as a friend, He thought.