Loving A Deformity

Chapter 26

By some miracle, Alec made it through the car trip to his house without puking. How? Don't ask Cera. It was a long trip for her as it was so she didn't feel like questioning why his stomach was so strong. Why was it a long trip, you ask? Well, something Cera never knew about Alec when he was drunk was that he's very touchy. He refused to let her hand go unless she allowed him to hug her. More than that, he often took the opportunity to kiss her forehead and cheek when he could. There was a point where he actually kissed her neck but Cera pulled away. It was weird to her how the first guy to kiss her like that was Alec... then again, he was also the first guy to kiss her forehead and cheek... After that, he groaned, disappointed, and rested his head the best he could on her uncomfortable shoulder. Once they got to the house, Kate helped Cera get Alec inside, in his room, and threw him on his own bed. Alec immediately curled up in his own sheets and fell asleep. Panting, Kate and Cera walked to the living room together.
"Hey, mom?" Cera looked at Kate.
"Can I stay here while you and dad go home?"
"Huh? Why?"
"I don't know- I just feel uncomfortable leaving him like this- what if he starts throwing up and he's all alone! You wouldn't leave me alone like that if you knew."
"Alec isn't in his right mind at the moment- are you sure your comfortable being here alone with him?"
"If I told him not to do something, he'd listen to me. I trust him." Cera insisted. Kate sighed, thinking about it. Alec, you owe me for this- if I found out you did anything to her, you're dead to me.
"Okay." Kate said. "Here are his keys... I'm going home."
"Thanks, mom!"
"Yeah, yeah." Kate blinked, walking out. After her parents left, Cera laid on the living room couch with a sigh to relax and close her eyes. That was, till someone knocked on Alec's front door. Cera looked at it with squinted, tired eyes. Who the hell could that be? She wondered. When she opened the door, she saw Gabe.
"Gabe?" She said. "What're you doing-"
"I was going to watch Alec." He smiled cheeplishly. "Looks like you had the same idea."
"Well... come in. Might as well do it together." Cera shrugged and let him in.
"I knocked because Alec was going to answer." Gabe explained, going in the kitchen. Cera followed.
"He's asleep."
"Then I'm lucky you stayed." Gabe smiled before pulling out a six pack of beers.
"Really? You brought beer?" Cera raised an eye brow, making Gabe chuckle and get out his McDonalds order.
"This was for me. I wasn't going to drink it all. Just enough to get buzzed- like I usually do after being the designated driver after parties."
"Why not watch Chris?"
"His parents were home." Gabe said with a sigh before getting a beer free from the packaging. Gabe looked at it, then to Cera before slowly holding it out to her. "Want a couple? I usually get buzzed about my fourth beer. Since you don't ever drink, you should be buzzed after your second one." Cera thought about it. She had sipped beer before- even had a glass of wine with her parents- but never sat down and drank till she was buzzed. After a couple seconds of consideration, she nodded.
"Sure. Can you open it for me?"
"Sure." Gabe said before opening her first beer. Cera took the bottle and held it tight as Gabe took a gulp of his. He acted as if it was no big deal so Cera pushed her uneasy feeling aside so she could drink. She took a swig and swallowed with unexpected ease. Of course it didn't burn my throat a lot, idiot. It's not even hard alcohol, Cera told herself before taking another sip.

***

Gabe was working on his third beer as Cera sat at the dining room table, moving her empty second beer bottle around. She was buzzed. Gabe felt something but it wasn't enough to consider it a buzz so he planned on finishing the sixth and final beer.
"Beer tastes good." Cera stated, looking to Gabe and smiling. He grinned back, slightly amused at her. He kinda felt bad Alec was missing it. Cera looked away, out a dark window that only showed the shadow of a tree branch. "You know what bothers me about Alec?" Cera randomly brought up, making Gabe look at her puzzled as he drank. She looked at Gabe again with her eye brows pressed together, eyes focused, and mouth in a straight line. "He's asleep." Cera's stern expression softened and she started to laugh. "That jerk! He got drunk before he could join our fun." She pouted.
"Well, he's going to be paying the price tomorrow." Gabe chuckled before drinking more of his beer.
"At least something good happened tonight." Cera giggled to herself. "I found out who Alec's dream girl is." To this, Gabe put down his beer and looked at her seriously.
"You did?" He asked. Cera nodded.
"He was all up on this girl at the party. He was telling her he liked her and all that gross stuff." Cera shrugged. All up on a girl at the party? Gabe wondered. What the hell was with him? He likes Cera!
"Do you know who he was talking too?"
"Never seen her before this in my entire life." Cera said monotone. Cera stared out the window again, not thinking about anything for a while. Gabe finished his beer and moved on to his fourth. The mood suddenly got serious for Cera. "Guess he really doesn't like me." She said. "You know, I think you got my hopes up... way back when you accused me of liking him? I think... maybe I had an ounce of hope..." she got quiet for a moment. "But I was wrong to have hope." To this, Gabe gulped.
"Do you like him?" Gabe asked curiously. Cera didn't respond for a long moment. She wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or of she was trying to turn her own emotions off, but in that moment, she didn't feel anything at all.
"N-no." She studdered and looked at Gabe. She shook her head. "I will never like Alec again." She was talking, but her words meant nothing. Despite her harsh tone, there was no emotion- nothing to show she meant what she said.
"Alec would never hurt you-"
"Not intentionally." Cera corrected. "But say we started dating. Gabe, you know how attached to him I already am. What am I going to do when... when he realizes what he signed up for and... what do I do when he does the right thing by breaking up with me? How do I move on? How do I cope with losing him?" Tears brimmed her eyes.
"What if you don't break up?-" Gabe tried.
"What, do you think I'm actually the girl for him? You actually believe he was meant to be with a disgusting joke, like me? Do you actually expect him to accept responsibility for me?!" Cera raised her voice. "None of you get it! Who ever decides to marry me, becomes my care taker! Not just my best friend, not just my husband! My care taker! Forever, he'll be responsible for doing things for me I'll never be able to do! Not to mention the things I wouldn't be able to do for him!" Cera was glaring at Gabe who sat frozen in his seat. He couldn't remember the last time she opened up to him like this. Alec probably heard this all before. But for Gabe, it was his first time hearing it- at least from Cera. "So I can't even return what he's giving to me! Does that sound like a life you want to live, Gabe?! Is that what you want for Alec?!" Cera finished and stared at Gabe, waiting for some kind of response. Only two sentences came to mind. Carefully, Gabe said,
"I want Both of you to be happy." He said. "I know you make each other happy." This made Cera relax. Cera sighed and slumped her shoulders, looking out the window again. He didn't seem to understand. Gabe made things way too simple- way too easy.
"I'm going to check on Alec. I'll sleep on the couch. I'm sure Tori won't mind you sleeping in her room." Cera said before getting up and going to Alec's room. Once she was out of sight, Gabe sighed. All those years of being told she was worthless really got to her. Alec really screwed himself over. She actually believed everything he told her. Gabe, suddenly, lost hope for them. No matter what he did, Cera was still broken.

And it was all Alecs own fault.

***

Cera felt light headed. Probably from the alcohol. She stumbled in Alecs room, closing the door behind her so that the light from the hall didn't wake him up and made her way to stand over Alecs bed and watch him sleep through the light of the lamp in his room Cera left on for her own benefit. She knew when she first laid him in here that she was going to check on him and as a result, left the light on. But now she was getting tired and was ready to go to bed. After a moment of watching his steady breathe, Cera sighed and walked over to turn the lamp off. On her way back to the door, Cera felt someone grab her hand and pull her towards Alecs bed. She stumbled over the things on the floor and as a result landed her chest against the chest of her captor. Cera adjusted herself to stand up straight.
"Sorry." Cera said, knowing it was Alec who was holding her wrist.
"What're you doing in here?" He asked, groggy.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I was coming in to check on you after everything that happened at the party-"
"Ugh... the party..." Alec winced. Cera almost thought he was sober already. But no. "I'm sorry I told you I like you at the party... that's not how I imagined doing it." Alec chuckled. Cera blushed and started reminding herself who he thought he was talking too. He's still drunk, Cera decided. On that, she was right. "I just couldn't help myself anymore." He sighed and started rubbing his thumb over Ceras hand which was oddly making it difficult for her to concentrate on getting out of his room quickly.
"I-it's okay... I'm going to go now-"
"No." Alec hugged Cera around her waist and practically pulled her in bed with him. "I want you with me." He almost sounded as if he was whining. Cera felt herself freeze in their position. His muscular arms were securely wrapped around her waist and he nuzzled his face against her chest. (A/N: no, not in her boobs, pervs 😂 I meant, like, he wanted to put his forehead on the crook of her neck but fail- okay?! 😂) He was practically resting on her pounding heart. Cera looked around, wildly, in the darkness of his room, not really knowing what to do. At this point, her buzz had wore off and she was much more alert and awake. She tried to wiggle away but Alec didn't budge in the slightest.
"A-Alec?" Cera tried. No answer at all. "Alec... I gotta go to bed. Can I please-"
"Don't reject me." Alec said, not having heard Cera at all. Cera froze again. "Just not tonight. I won't hurt you. I promise." His plea sounded like something you'd here from a child. "Just let me hold you... just once." Cera 'knew' he wasn't talking to her. But she couldn't leave him like this. Even if he felt nothing for her, he thought he did in that moment. Cera wasn't going to ruin that for him. Slowly, Cera relaxed.
"Okay." She said simply before they adjusted themselves to a more comfortable position. Alec moved the arm that was under her waist as she moved herself down the bed so they could be face to face and Cera could rest on his arm. Still, Alec had his other arm securely around her and there was no chance in hell he was letting her go unless she told him too. They laid together, silently, for a while. Cera was almost drifting off to sleep when the silence was interrupted.
"I love you." Alec said, grinning wit his eyes closed. Cera could see the outline of his smile through the light of the stars and moonlight that showed through his window. Cera suddenly felt tears brim her eyes. This is going to be the only way anyone will love me, Cera thought. Is if they aren't even talking to me.
"I l-love you too, Alec." Cera choke out her words before sniffling. Alecs eyes immediately opened and he started to shush her while taking the arm that was around her waist to wipe her tears away. After that, he wrapped his arm around her waist again and pulled her even closer. Cera only cried. This love will never be for me! He loves someone else! He- along with everyone- will always love someone else! Eventually, both of them drifted off to sleep to the sound of Cera crying.