His Lies, His Truths, Their War (H2OVanoss) [Completed]

Epilogue

You thought it was over......
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The note found in the very back of Evans's black notebook:

Fuck you, you know who you are, you know what you did. I'm not worried about who reads this, because I know you'll get to it first.

I know what you did, but I don't why you did it. Well, I don't care, okay? You win, you can have Jonathan, I'm out of the picture. You didn't want me here, so I won't be there.

I could make this letter so much longer, but you don't deserve that, so fuck you.

I hate you, Kathleen Dennis.

I read out the letter, looking up and meeting the eyes of my brother, Jonathan, who looked so shocked and angry that I almost backed away, but I deserved this.

It took a few moments for my confession to sink in, but eventually everyone was speaking at once and yelling at me, but all I cared about was his friends and family.

"Jonathan," I said, stepping away from the podium and walking towards him. "Jonathan, I'm sorry."

"No, fuck you! You killed him! You killed my best friend!" Jonathan shouted, standing up and beginning to storm out.

I grabbed my purse off my seat and chased after him, waving the guys to follow behind me, but I didn't expect them to.

"Jonathan! Wait! I have something for you!" I yelled, stopping him in his tracks. "I know you hate me, and I don't blame you, I'm a horrible person." I raised my voice. "I don't expect any of you to forgive me after what I said, but Jonathan, I want you to have this, I think he wanted it to."

I pulled the notebook from my purse, and held it out to my crying brother.

He took the book, running his hand over the cover much like I had when I first got it.

"I'm sorry." I said, but was pushed back by the guys as Tyler went to comfort Jonathan.

"You're a horrible person, I can't believe I'm related to you." Jonathan shouted at me, my heart breaking at hearing him. He wiped at his eyes to say one last thing to me, "I will never forgive you for this." Then he walked out of the funeral home, the entire group of friends right behind him.

I never thought it would come to this point, I thought they would drift apart, start separate lives, but that didn't happen. R.I.P Evan Fong

It was me, it was all me. I'm the reason my brother is crying, why he's hurting, why he's standing at a funeral for his best friend when he's still a teenager. It's because of me, and what I did and what I said.

No one looked at me, but they shoved me and brushed past me as if I wasn't even there, I think my family would have left me too if I hadn't went to stand by the car.

My parents didn't talk to me, neither did Jonathan, and when we all went back to school, it was like I had always been an outcast.

I think is how Evan felt, why he did what he did. Because he was alone, just like me now, but I deserve this, I put him through this.

And the worst part, is that even if I want to die, to kill myself like how Evan did, I couldn't bring myself to, I just couldn't.

Because Evan is dead, so my punishment is to live.

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All the guys stood around the grave, some crying, others holding flowers in their hands.

"Happy birthday, Ev." They all said sadly, laying their offerings next to the headstone. He would have been eighteen that day, a senior in high school, and probably applying for colleges.

But he couldn't, because he was stuck in the ground, dead.

Jonathan still had his notebook, he had read it probably a hundred times by now, but he still always had it by his side, because it was Evan's, and it made it feel like he wasn't completely gone.

Everyone but Jonathan left, they always did this, they let Jonathan have a few private minutes with him. And he almost always said the same thing.

"I'm sorry." He was sorry for a lot of things now, because now it made sense. "I'm sorry I thought you were a liar, I'm sorry that I was so mean to you, I'm sorry that you couldn't live to see all of us be friends again, I'm sorry that....that I didn't kiss you back. Because maybe then you'd still be here.

"But why didn't you tell me what was going on, if you knew Kathleen had lied to me, why did you play along? I wish you were here, like, really here, I miss you. We all do."

Jonathan placed his flowers last, and walked away, joining the guys at the cars.

Tyler patted his shoulder. "Come on, you know the drill."

Yes, I know the drill, we've been doing it every time we come here. We stay for about half an hour, leave flowers, say some words, then we spend the rest of the day doing things he loved to do.

Because he will never enjoy those things again.

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The note that was inside the envelope Evan gave to Jonathan:

Dear Jonathan,

First of all, if you're reading this, it means two things have happened. The first is that, well, I kissed you, which I'll talk about in a bit, and the second, is that I'm gone, six feet under ground, kicking the bucket. Wow, that was morbid, sorry.

I'm sorry, for whatever it is I did, and that probably doesn't make sense to you since you know the truth by now, but I needed to say that. Because, I really don't know what I did to make you not believe me when I said I did nothing, or what I did to make your sister hate me.

Also, side-note, your sister is a bitch. Sorry, that's probably not what you're reading this for, I just had to get that off my chest.

Now, what you're waiting for me to talk about. The kiss. Why did I do it? Did it mean anything? Well, it did mean something, maybe not to you, but it meant the world to me. Because, I love you. I love you so much it hurts, and that's cliche but it's true. I didn't even realize it until eighth grade, but when I did, I knew why what you did and said hurt me so much more than I thought it would.

Because I was in love with you, and you hated me. And I'm sorry, because I should've told you what I knew, but I just couldn't. You didn't believe me back then, so I know you wouldn't believe me now.

But, do me a favor, please. I want you to take care of the guys, I know I haven't talked to them in a couple years, but just stay with them, none of this has to do with them. This was all me.

So, I guess this note is pretty long, and you probably don't want to think about me anymore, so I'll end it here. To be honest, I never planned to leave this note, but I figured you deserved it.

Don't worry about me, Jonathan, I'll be fine, and so will you. I mean, not only did you win the battle, but you won the war.

Love,

Evan.

"No," Jonathan whispered to himself as he read the note for the first time. "I didn't win, Ev. You did. You won the battle, and you won the war. I just wish you could've lived to see it, soldier."