Divergent Writing Scraps

Scraps 3

(First day on the raid on Deathrow)

[] Song-Ready aim fire by Imagine Dragons []

Hayes looked at me worriedly ‘Are you sure you want to go?’ he frowned at me, his fingers playing with the gun he held ‘I have too.’ I said, my voice tight. Memories flew through my head. What would happen if I actually died this time? I hated myself for thinking it, but whatever comes after death….I think of my family. Caleb, my mother and father.

My friends.

Uriah, Zeke, Christina, Lynn, Marlene, Will, Al and even Peter. And Tobias…maybe I will get to see him again. Maybe we can settle things. I don’t even know why I think such a thing could happen, but it does.   Hayes is gripping my shoulders, looking me straight in the eyes. His blue eyes are handsome, darkening around the edges and turning to ice near the middle. Like the dusk sky, sinking into the night. ‘Tris’ he says ‘If you don’t make it out of this, then don’t bother about me.’ I straighten ‘Are you asking me to forget you?’

I almost scowl at him, which seems wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. ‘I’ll be waiting for you…in whatever comes next.’ It sounds odd, like there’s a place we will all be waiting, waiting, after we pass. He just reaches out, pressing his lips to mine. A spark flickered somewhere deep inside me, igniting my bones and sending a shudder throughout my back. Hayes pulled away ‘Something wrong?’

I just gave something like a laugh, pulling him towards me again. He smells like the forest, so rich and pure. He tastes like cool river water.   

Hayes pulled away again.

I’ve never felt so hungry…but a new kind of hunger. Not starving for food, but craving someone. I leaned in to kiss him again, but he pulled away to the side ‘Stop’ he said, almost forcefully ‘What?’ his denial hit me deep somewhere, where the old Tris, a young lovesick dauntless girl, sat ‘I just.’ his lips pressed together into a line

‘I can’t.’  

 ‘Does this have something to do with Tobias?’ at the sound of his name I nearly crumple, falling to the ground and sinking so low I want to cry. Before he gets a chance to reply, A dark-skinned man with ink curling down his arms calls my squad name.   ‘Would Squadron B1 please report to the tactics room for a mission briefing.’   

That’s me.

My call.  

As I turn away from Hayes, his fingers run down my arm, until they run off my fingers and he’s gone. I turn, taking a shaky breath and wiping my palms on my black combat jacket.  

-*-  

I watched her go, with a group of other Dauntless, and then lean back against the wall. Grayson approaches me, trying to assume the pose of a Dauntless member. I laughed, poking him in the ribs. He pushed his spectacles up, his familiar factual tone returning ‘You know, all this black is leaving some bad enzymes.’ He smiled, and I laughed again. ‘There’s something I’ve been meaning to give you. All the soldiers have them.’ He put something in my hand.

A little vial with a strong gold liquid inside it, and a pill. I rolled them in my hands for a while, then put them in my pocket ‘Just an extra precautionary measure.’ he said in a matter-of-a-fact way ‘And you will know, first hand, that The Deathrow will be interrogating whoever they manage to imprison. Sometimes, extreme times call for extreme decisions.’ I thank him, and he leans against the wall beside me.  

-*-

We ran out of the compound, sprinting through the night and yelling at the top of our lungs. This is Dauntless, I thought. Not tattooed, pierced, daredevils. But this. Free spirits. Courageous. Fearless.