Letters to Harry

Chapter Eleven

It took Harry a week to muster up the courage to do it. He didn't want to come home only to have Louis reject him, it would defeat the purpose of him leaving entirely. With a deep sigh, the curly haired boy handed a plain white envelope to Janice, his apartment address written neatly on the front.

"Will you send this for me?" He asked the secretary, his voice neutral.

"Sure thing,  Harry." She took the letter from him, her red acrylic nails brushing along the skin of his hand. "You never send mail, and with only a week left here… this must be very important!" Janice mused, sticking the thick envelope in the outgoing mail pile.

"It's very important." Harry said quietly, before turning around and heading back to his room.

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Zayn, Liam,  Niall and Louis sat in the living room of the Stylinson flat in various states of dishevelment. The night before, they had had a sort of get together, complete with video games, horror movies, and tons of sugar, in celebration of Lou getting over his fever.

Liam, being Daddy Direction, checked his watch.

"The post should be here, lads. I'm going to go down and get it." And with that, he exited the apartment. The three other boys stayed in the apartment, chatting away.

When Liam returned five minutes later, he walked through the door with his arms absolutely filled with letters.

"POST!"  Niall screamed excitedly, scooting across the floor to a place directly below the older boy and giving him his best puppy face. "Can I please have my mail, LiLi?" He asked sweetly.

"Sure thing, I got everyone's" the Wolverhampton boy smiled. "Lets see… Me, Niall, Niall, me, Zayn, Louis, Zayn, Zayn, Zayn, Niall, me, me, and the rest is junk." He handed each pile to the designated person and sat down next to Louis on the couch, looking at him awkwardly as he hung upside down on the back of the furniture piece, his head hanging off the seat.

"Lou, post." Niall called, taking the eldest boy's pile of letters from Liam and smacking them down on his exposed stomach. Surprised, Louis flinched, resulting in him tumbling off of the sofa and onto the floor, his pile of letters flying everywhere.

"Niall!" Zayn exclaimed, shooting the Irishman a scathing look.

"Sorry…" he mumbled, sulking.

Liam looked to Louis to make sure that he had survived the fall, only to find him sitting quietly on the floor, letter in hand. "What's that?" the brunette asked, climbing off the sofa to sit next to Lou on the floor and wrap his arms around his thin shoulders.

"A letter." Lou said, his voice barely above a whisper. "From Harry."

_____________

Lou,

I'm sorry it's taken so much for me to finally write you back. I haven't been strong enough to do it before, but now I think I am.

I'm sorry I broke all of my promises, I never meant for this to happen. I will get better. I'm coming back in a week. Next Monday, I'll be home. With you.

Know this, Louis. I didn't leave because of anything you did, or said, or could ever do. My reasons were entirely personal and none of this is your fault. It's mine. I wasn't strong enough and I thought I was going to break my promise. That’s when I realized I needed to fix everything.

I've tried so hard, I'm coming home early. They said it'd take anywhere from six to eight months for me to get better. But it's only been four and I'm already about to leave. I did it for you, Louis. You're my inspiration.

I don't know why you love me, Lou. I've destroyed you. Completely, utterly torn you apart. Ripped your heart out of your chest and thrown it on the ground. But I know why I love you. I did this because I love you so much.

I love you because of the way you smile, how your eyes light up as bright as the sun. I love your stupid jokes, and how no one laughs because they're funny, but because they're so shit. I love the way that you spend an obscene amount of time on your hair, and complain that it takes me less than five seconds to do mine. I love your sense of style, and how you somehow make red jeans and a navy and white striped shirt with suspenders look absolutely amazing. I love how much energy you have at three in the morning, and how you claim that you can hold your drink but in truth you can't.

I've missed you so much, Louis. Every letter you've written to me has brought me to tears, and I wish that I was there to hold you in my arms and kiss every wound I've left. I never meant for this to happen. I'm coming back stronger, and I will fix this, us.

I love you, Louis. Don't forget that, ever.

Harry