trouble | g.d

chapter thirty one

I made my way up the familiar path, eyeing every detail like I did the first time I came. This time, my nerves were out of this world, even though they were pretty high the last time.

I took a deep breath, stepping up to the front door which looked as if it were made from the finest materials, my knuckles grazing over it before I knocked. My heart immediately dropped as I heard someone running down the stairs, heavy footsteps, making me want to leave right then and there, but I couldn't.
A cool draft of air hit me, as well as the fresh scent of the posh house when the door swung open, and I was face to face with a shocked looking Ethan.
The boy scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, looking back at the kitchen and back at me.
" Isabella, hi " Ethan forced a smile, while I returned it as best as I could.
" Hey, is Grayson here? " I asked nervously, stepping from foot to foot on his doorstep.
Ethan let out a sigh, gesturing for me to enter the large house which I did. He closed the door behind me, walking me through the hallway before shouting Grayson's name loudly, scaring me a little. Before I even had the chance to see Grayson, I saw their mom, who came rushing towards me with a smile.
" Isabella! The last time I saw you was at the party, where've you been? " Lisa asked with a laugh, instantly pulling me into her arms for a hug.
I chuckled awkwardly, trying to think of an answer. Grayson hasn't told her.
" I've been busy I guess " I laughed uncomfortably, which she didn't see as she laughed along with me, placing her hand on my shoulder.
" well, do you want anything to drink? " She asked, while I shook my head politely.
" no thanks, I- " I began, being cut off by another pair of heavy footsteps, making the room fall silent as I turned around, gulping as I looked at Grayson.
He stared at me in complete confusion, before sighing, looking down at something which I followed. My eyes trailed down his arm, landing on his hand, that was covered in a white cast. He's injured?
I didn't even know what to say, but everyone could sense the tension in the air.
" mom, Bella and I are going upstairs " Grayson announced, while Lisa nodded, smiling at me as Grayson turned around without another word, and I followed.

The whole way up the stairs was daunting, not a word from either of us as we made our way through the mansion like house and towards his bedroom.
As soon as we reached it he pushed open the door, waiting for me to enter before closing it behind him. I instantly felt a little more at ease being in his room, since it's so homely to me. Grayson sat down on his bed with me following, letting out a sigh before speaking.
" Bella, I- " he begun, until I cut him off.
" what did you do to your hand? " I immediately asked, worry evident in my voice as I looked at it.
He looked down at his hand before back up at me, guilt in his eyes.
" I... fell " The boy shyly spoke, while I repositioned myself so my legs were crossed.
" no you didn't. Tell me the truth, Grayson " I sighed, speaking softly although I was desperate to know how he'd hurt himself.
It was silent again, while he ran one hand through his soft hair, which was falling freely across his forehead. His eyes looked tired and baggy, as if he'd lost sleep. He's not the only one, I had too.
Grayson's jaw clenched and unclenched before he spoke, something he always does that amazes me, even though it's so simple.
" I punched the side of my car " Grayson said through gritted teeth, shocking me completely.
" you what? When? " I questioned, frozen still in worry.
" the day I saw you at the tree... I was mad that I made you so scared and caused all of this in the first place and I... I just lost it " Grayson stuttered, visibly upset and annoyed at himself for doing such a thing.
" Grayson, you didn't have to do that " I told him, but he ignored it, running a hand through his hair again, while standing up angrily.
" I know! But I did, because I caused this! I am the one to blame for this, and now that we're not together, Isabella, it feels like I'm losing everything " Grayson almost shouted, still not loud enough for anyone downstairs to hear.
The way he said my name, Isabella. He never uses my full name, or like that.
" Grayson, stop... none of this is your fault, okay! Meredith caused this, not you. I decided to take the break, as stupid and as much of a fucking mistake that was! " I yelled a little, standing beside him whilst the room fell silent again, only Grayson and I's heavy breathing to be heard.
The way he looked at me right then, made me want to kiss him. Just launch myself right at him, and kiss him. Just to feel close to him again after these days of absolute torture, was what we both needed, and wanted more than anything.
All of a sudden, he sat back down, his face in his hands again.
" I just don't know what to do anymore... these past few days have been absolute shit, and I regret everything... fucking everything " Grayson muttered into his hands, his voice muffled until he looked up at me with glossy eyes.
I stared at him, still stood up beside his desk as a tear trailed down his cheek, but he didn't wipe it away. Instead he broke down, into a fit of tears and sobs, making me rush to his side. I immediately pulled him into my arms, which he accepted, laying down on the bed with his head on my stomach, cuddling into me tighter than ever before.
" I thought I'd... lost you, Bella " He cried, making my shirt completely damp, but I didn't care.
My hand instantly found my way to his hair, playing with it in attempt to calm him down, which sort of worked.
I'd never seen him so upset, so vulnerable.
" you never lost me " I told him, talking quietly all of a sudden.
He kept on crying, his sobs soon slowing down until only a few tears were escaping his eyes at a time.
" I should've told you everything, but I didn't, and I'm sorry... I didn't want you to think I was fucked up, but I guess I really am, Bella " Grayson breathed out, tears still running down his blotchy cheeks until I wiped them away with my thumb.
" I was depressed, did drugs, drank and smoked to try and fix my problems... and when I thought I'd lost you... I got such bad anxiety, I-I lit a cigarette, and I regret it... I know it might not seem like the end of the world, but I can't help but hate myself for it! I promised myself I'd never go back to that, and I did...I-I " Grayson cried even harder, opening up to me fully which made me feel guilty, knowing that there was something he doesn't know.
He doesn't know about Parker, his enemy. How he took advantage of me when I was weak and practically threw himself at me. I was dating Grayson when that happened, and it's eating me alive, slowly but surely.
" Bella, I'm sorry... so fucking sorry " He whined, sitting up and looking down at his legs, back up at me.
" don't apologise, I don't want you too, okay " I said comfortingly, on the verge of tears myself as I leaned over and pulled him back into my arms for the longest hug, something he needed.
He stayed completely quiet, his breathing calming down as I held him in my arms for as long as possible.
Seeing him so upset made my heart shatter, a million times on repeat.
" promise me you won't do any of that stuff again, Grayson... I'm here " I almost begged, never wanting him to go back to that like he did.
Grayson looked up at me, wiping under his eyes with the back of his hand and licking his lips slightly.
" as long as I have you "

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A/N- I'm totally not crying jeez