Rants

10

This is just going to be a small little rant, from what I know when starting this, its just a thought I had.

While listening to the song Cool Kids..or at least a animatic of it. I realized a few things.

To me, the "cool kids" in my school, are my friends, seeing as all of the actual cool kids have hurt us, or done something related to that.

All my friends are cool to me! Tho we all may not be perfect, and have our flaws, all of us have a amazing trait that brings out all the other amazing traits in them and the others.

Tho...it makes me think. I'm always the silent one, sitting there and giggling to the conversation. I only pipe on in when there's room for me to squad my way into, if I wish to that is...

I know they care, and that's why they don't notice me. They're busy thinking of ways to help, or are busy talking about s problem in their life that's bothering them a lot.

And that's what I'm here for, to help, be someone they can rely on, and talk to.

But back to the topic I started with.

Being a "cool kid" doesn't mean to have many friends as it seems its saying.

Being a cool kid means your happy wot the people your with. And they make you smile.

That's what they are to me.

But, again, it seems like I don't fit in correctly to them.

I guess the girl that the sing is singing about, is me, in this situation...

Yes my friends accept me, but do they really?

They may say they do but I...don't know for sure.

They sometimes talk about things that they know hurt me...or they should, I've told them countless times..

Sometimes it seems like they don't care to bother. They talk about things that hurt me, or that I know little about, or that just...don't work for me..if that sounds right.

They leave me out a lot. And its...scary.

Left alone to my thoughts while they talk about something fun and amazing they know about or can relate to.

If they even bother reading this, they would say that isn't true. That I am allowed to talk, and they do speak about things I enjoy or know of and such. But..that just isn't true in my eyes, and they're to blind to see that, or...I guess they just don't bother trying to see it.

I know I have online friends who really care about me. But is it enough? Sometimes it isn't. Sometimes I need someone to be there next to me and hug me, to tell me everything is alright. When it isn't...

But even that would make me feel better, to know that I'm loved, or feel like it.