If I'm not on today or for a few weeks, I'm sorry. My mom had planned for us to go to the beach today with our aunt without anyone else's consent, and made me wake up at 6 in the morning today. I was so tired I fell asleep and couldn't find my swimsuit and she yelled at me and now I'm shaking and I can barely move and I just can't. I'm so t.i.r.e.d. Physically, mentally, emotionally. I'm so tired of trying, so tired of living. I can't do anything right in the eyes of anyone.
I'm the black sheep, the one everybody hates, the demon child. I regret being born as much as my parents regret having me. I'm sobbing and I'm shaking and I can't do this anymore. I can't handle all the stress on my body, my anxiety is killing me from the inside out.
We had to go pick up my brother and his girlfriend, and in the car she was yelling at me saying 'Normal people don't do that.' Black sheep, brat, devil child, demon, not normal, emotionless, hated.
To make it worse when they got in the car they started mocking me as if I wasn't there. I'm so tired of being hated I can't take it the physical and mental strain on my body. I wanna die so bad.
I've given up on trying to be a good child.
I've given up on trying to please people because everything I do seems to be wrong.
I've given up on trying to remember things.
I've given up on future plans and carriers.
I've nearly given up on living.
Everytime I let someone in I get hurt and broken. I'm so numb and emotionless.
