Wait Stop!

2

I patched up some new cuts and treated some bruises on my stomach. It was around 2AM. Once again I had to take a shower to wash off blood.

I sat on the toilet seat and rubbed my eyes gently. I sighed silently to myself. I knew I should just leave and never come back. I knew I shouldn't put up with this kinda relationship. But I love Mark. And I know he still has a good side to him.

I rummaged through the cabinets for some more bandages. But I found a razor. Maybe..

No.. I shouldn't.. but maybe it would feel ok.. maybe it would be good if I try something new..

I got up to close and lock the bathroom door. I sat back down on the toilet seat to look at the razor. It won't be that bad. At least I'll be used to the pain. But maybe it'll be different..?

I set the blade down on my left wrist. Just one... one cut...

I pressed it down on my skin. I pressed down harder and thick red liquid bubbled up. I dragged it across my skin, blood following where the blade left. It was satisfying. I wanted to do it again...

I set the blade back on my skin under the first cut. Press and drag. I pressed down on the skin and dragged it across.

More blood was drawn. But it felt so good. So addicting. Like a drug.

I kept going. Press and drag. Press and drag. Press and drag. I started to feel light headed. Blood got on my shirt and my boxers. There was a small puddle of blood on the floor.

I decided I should stop. I want to do it again. But I'm loosing too much blood.

I set down the blade on the sink. I felt myself start to feel cold. I quickly cleaned up the blood.

I looked at my left arm one last time. It was covered in cuts. I felt satisfied.

I changed into some different clothes. A long sleeved shirt and some boxers. I climbed back into bed with Mark who was still asleep. He was shirtless and only had boxers on.

I snuggled up to Mark's chest. I missed doing this. I kissed his chest, collarbone, and neck gently. Kissing him was something that I wished I could do a lot. He stirred slightly.

I nuzzled close his chest and took his hand in mine. I smiled softly and went to sleep snuggled up to him.

---------

When I woke up Mark wasn't in bed. I rubbed my eyes and yawned. I stretched my worn out, skinny arms and back.

I climbed out of bed and went to the kitchen. Mark wasn't there. I walked around the house but he wasn't here. He wouldn't just leave.. would he? I checked the bedroom again and saw a note on the nightstand.

Didn't bother looking there huh Sean.. dumbass.. I thought to myself.

I picked up the small piece of paper.

Dear Jack,

I'm with some friends right now. I want you to clean up the house a little while I'm gone. Don't break anything or you're gonna sleep in the dark room tonight. See you sometime later tonight.

-Mark

I sighed. He's probably gonna bring his friends home with some drunk whores. He started doing this a few months ago. I just ignored them.

I had a decent breakfast and cleaned up the kitchen. I cleaned up the house a little. I think I did a good job.

I checked the time. 2:30PM. I thought it was later. Sighing, I walked over to the couch and curled up in a ball. I put on some Disney and Pixar movies.

Mark and I used to watch these together. We had a movie marathon for my birthday once.

"Jack c'mon I can see you trying to keep your eyes open, if you're tired we should go to bed," Mark said, pulling me closer to him so he could plant a kiss on my lips. "N-no it's ok, it's only like 12 or something I'm up for another movie," I yawned and nuzzled his neck, shifting in my position so I could see the TV better.

"That's it, let's go to bed," he said, cradling me in his arms and shutting off the TV. "No I wanna watch more movies-" I yawned and snuggled up to him. He brought us to bed and helped me get comfortable.

He laid down with me. I smiled, snuggling up to his chest. "We'll watch some more movies tomorrow ok? Get some sleep Jackie," he said, kissing my cheek. I smiled. "I love you," I said. He smiled, "I love you too."

I sniffled and fought back tears. The movie was almost over. I put on another one to try and distract me.

I watched a few other movies and a couple episodes of the walking dead. It was 4:47PM now. I sighed, knowing Mark wouldn't be back anytime soon.

I sat up, trying to think of something I could do around the house. Suddenly I got an idea. Mark wasn't here, so he can't stop me from listening to music.

I grabbed my phone and played some of my favorite bands on full blast. I danced like there was no tomorrow.

After about a huge playlist of songs later my laptop start vibrating. I opened it up and Mark was skype calling me. I answered it quickly, turning down my music to a minimum. "H-hey Jackie!" He said, smiling goofily. It seemed like he was trying to keep quiet but where he was was very loud. "H-hi Mark.. what're you doing? Are you ok?" I asked slightly worried.

"Y-yeah.. AH~!" He.. moaned..? "Mark what're doing?" I asked seriously. "N-nothing, it's not important b-baby, I'll s-see you later tonight ahh hmm~" he groaned and ended the call. I sighed, he's probably at some strip club or something.

I pulled down the sleeve of my shirt. My arm started to burn a little bit. I looked at all the cuts I made on myself last night. I wanna do it again.

I walked into the bathroom. I took off my clothes, grabbed the razor out of the cabinet, and stepped in the shower. I turned the water on, letting the warmth patter on my body. I sat down and readied the razor on my right arm.

I pressed down and dragged it across my skin. The blood ran down my arm and into the flowing water. I kept going. Press and drag. Press and drag.

My right arm burned but it felt so satisfying. But I didn't have enough. I brought the small blade down to my thigh. I smiled as more cuts were carved into my skin. More blood ran down the drain.

I went to my other thigh and did the same. I felt so happy. Like this is an escape. It was so satisfying. So amazing.

But I started to feel dizzy. The water was stained red and my thighs and arms stung violently. I smiled to myself, sighing in relief. I found a nice escape.

I turned off the water and dried off. I put on a sweater and sweatpants and went to check the time. 7:58PM. I was in there for a while.

My sweatpants felt cold. I looked down to see that my thighs were still bleeding. My stomach turned and I felt even more light headed. My arms were still bleeding too.

Suddenly everything went black and I felt my body drop on the floor.

A/N: cliffhanger bishes 1285 words