Red // Colour Bandits // Phan AU

The Fifth Chapter

crEaTUrE wAS sHit, whY DId wE hAVe To wAiT fOUR mOnthS fOR It?

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English was terrible. We had a relief and she wouldn't shut up about how important the Colour Bandits are. ("They drained the world of colour for the greater good!"). We've heard it all before but apparently it's necessary to be told over and over again. Then she made us write a poem about it.

'A bandit's worst nightmare in a void would be to dye,
As all the colours come rushing and bleed deep, proceeding to stain their lives, with strokes of beryl, turquoise tints and compliments of shades of plum,
A mixture of something new, unknown to man what exactly they'll become,
Some believe they leave behind their soul, black and white, like a mortal wound, a gaping hole,
Others say they become something royal, a supreme jade, a strengthened cobalt,
I can't fathom a Bandit becoming something so noble.'

Let's just say Pj and I ended up with a detention for bringing up colouring the Colour Bandits.

After class we met up with Chris and walked to History together.
"Have you guys seen Phil today," I ask noticing that he isn't in or around our History room.
"Yeah, I just had free period with him, why," Chris responds.
"Oh no reas- here he is. Hey Lester," I wave slightly as Phil walks into the classroom.
"Hello Daniel!" He smirks slightly.

"You seem happy, what's up," Pj asks.
"Our friend Daniel over here knows why.."
"You absolute-"

I get cut off as Mr Coleslaw walks into the room.
"Afternoon class."
"Good afternoon sir," we all reply in unison.
"Now, are we all in our groups? Goo- no Mr Liguori you're not sitting with Christopher."
"Damn it," Pj mutters under his breath.

I tilt my chair so I'm balancing on the back two legs so I can whisper something in Pj's ear. "Busted Peej.."
"Shut up Danny Boy," he says pushing me back onto all fours.

Mr Coleslaw looks at us and sighs. "Why'd I even bother sitting you lot at the front? You distract me more than you distract your classmates..just get to work!"

A few people get up and move over to their partners, Pj being one of them, whilst Phil and I get to work.
"Any questions Lester?"
"Nope."
"Good, because I'm not talking to you."

I quickly glance at him to see if I got a reaction but he just shrugged it off and got to work. We researched, typed and linked our work in silence for about twenty minutes before Phil starts asking questions.
"So the Colour Bandits were established in 1946, yeah?"
"Yeah, why? Are you getting different dates?"
"No I'm just checking. Also why isn't brown banned?"
"Look it up for yourself Philip," I say slightly irritated.
"I tried already!"
"Ugh, Lester look at me. I'm only explaining this once ok?"

Phil turns to me and nods with wide eyes.
"The founder of the Colour Bandits, Pj Liguori the First-"
"Oh my god is Pj related to-"
"Oh my god! Yes I am! It's old news!" Pj calls from across the classroom.
"Is that why he makes such an effort?"
"Yeah, so anyways- he had brown hair, not unlike my friend Pj over there, and as it was such a common hair colour - and the fact that he was the founder of all of those laws - he allowed brown to be the one colour you could wear. You got all that?"
"Y-yeah," Phil says scribbling it down in his notebook.

"Alright, anymore questions?"
"Yeah, actually.."
"Alright, shoot."
"Why is space cold if the sun is so hot?"
"Sh*t," I whisper under my breath.
"What was that?"
"D-do some work Lester!"

I start tapping on the desk as the question starts to bug me. Slightly irritated at how stupid I feel, I turn to the girl that sits behind me, Bianca, to see if she knows why.
"Do you know the answer!?"
"The answer to what, Dan," she asks calmly.
"Do you know why space is cold if the sun is so hot??"
She gasps slightly. "Cr*p..Dan don't do this to me- oh my god, now I'm thinking about it too much," she exclaims running her hands through her hair.

Bianca turns to her partner, Tasheka, a pretty girl from Africa who was brought over to England as her parents were openly in possession of coloured objects.
"Hey.. Tash.. my good friend, who wouldn't hate me no matter what," Bianca says, punching Tasheka's arm lightly.
"What do you want, B," she asks in her low, soothing voice.
"Whyisspacecoldifthesunissohot," she asks quickly.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that?"

Bianca sighs and pulls herself together once more. "Why is space co-"
Chris slams his hands down on is desk and stands up.
"OH MY GOD WE GET IT," he yells. "PHIL ANNOYED DAN WITH A QUESTION, DAN ASKED BIANCA, BIANCA GOT ANNOYED AND NOW I'M GETTING ANNOYED BY HEARING IT, OVER AND OVER- WELL I'VE HAD ENOUGH!"

We all watch as Chris jumps over his desk, even though the option to walk around it was available, walk up to the white board and pick up a pen and begin to write something.
"'Why-is-space-cold-if-the-sun-is-so-hot?' There!"

There's a brief moment of silence whilst the whole class reads the question.
"Oh my god- Chris!"
"Chris, what the actual f*ck!?"
"You're such a d*ck!"
"I'd give you a detention but then I'd get in trouble for giving you a detention for something so stupid!"

The only person not making a fuss or cussing at Chris is Mark. He raises his hand and waits patiently.
"Y-yes, Mr Fischbach?" Mr Coleslaw gives him permission to speak whilst rubbing his temples.
"For all of you absolute idiots: 'The sun is a very large mass of matter which interacts with itself to produce nuclear reactions but space has become so stretched since the big bang that the energy in it has also been stretched so that it is now 'diluted' and weak and therefore colder'," he recites, reading from the science textbook.
"Ohhhhhhhhh," the whole class groans at once. "Wait, Phil made us all look stupid! Phil you suck!"

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Idk what this chapter is ssooorrryyyyy
Also I'm not proud to admit this whole chapter is me in a nutshell
I guess I do know what this chapter is then..hmm..

aLSO I got a Penpal today, he seems cool

bye lovely humans