"Captains Outrageous..."

"Captains Outrageous...Beth..."

"Captains Outrageous..."

Summary: Strictly and utterly for fun. Imagining our favorite seestras as Captains of the Federation flagship.

Disclaimer: No copy write infringement intended...

Beth...

The Enterprise, bridge conference room...

"Hello, guys..." Captain Childs beamed at inset images of Cosima, Alison and Donnie, Sarah...Helena, a bit shyly at edge of Sarah's inset on her wall screen.

"Beth, it's so good to see you, uh Captain..." Alison hurriedly remembering decorum.

"Captain. Donnie Hendrix, civilian, here." Donnie nodded.

"Hey, family call...At ease, Lieutenant." Beth smiled at Ally. "Nice to finally meet you, Donnie. Ally has made me incredibly jealous over the last six months, raving about you. I can see she's very lucky."

"Indeed..." Ally, pulling Donnie's arm round her. "He just saved my life the other day from our insane monitoring computer, trying to be a holographic clone of me."

"I guess everyone who meets you guys wants to be one of you, especially my Ally here." Donnie, gallantly.

My...Helena stared. "He is nice, sestra Ally. His large ears denote strength and loyalty."

"Yeah..." Beth beamed. "I definitely would be jealous now, if I weren't rather incredibly lucky myself...I know you've all met, Captains..." she grinned at them, eyes twinkling. "But I'd like to properly introduce my dear friend and first officer, the newest member of our merry and now with him included, most logical, band...Arthur Bell."

Art seated across from Beth, nodding, eyeing each. "Remarkable."

"Beth, you sound great." Cosima noted, she seated in her quarters. "And, sorry...Captain..."

"Officers Neuhaus and Hendrix...You do realize you both could be court-martialed and Sarah criminally prosecuted for impersonating a superior officer and endangering your crewpeoples' lives?" Art noted, sternly. "As could I for allowing this deception to go unrecorded...Even if Admiral Leekie has tacitly let it slide by?"

"Yeah." Beth agreed. "And I could be dismissed for attempted suicide...Court-martialed for allowing said deception...And I've no idea what the penalty is for operating a starship with an unregistered positronic brain." She smiled at the group.

"Not to mention...Harboring an illegal alien, very likely a spy..." Art began...

"No...Arthur...I is no spy, now. Out of the business..." Helena protested.

"...And a murderess, if acting as a spy/assassin for her government."

Ummn...Donnie eyed Ally...

"I think you need to catch me up...Quickly." he hissed.

"Later..." hiss back...

"Oh and I was Leekie's clueless stooge monitor..." Donnie noted. "Just so long as we're putting it all on the table here."

"Utterly clueless..." Alison agreed. "He thought it was an important sociological experiment for the Federation Science Academy, nothing about illegal cloning or evil stuff."

"Fine...Participation in an illegal cloning experiment, unlawful surveillance without a warrant..." Art nodded.

"I did say utterly clueless...Sir." Ally insisted.

"Ignorance of the law, no excuse, Lieutenant." Art frowned... "But of course if the Captain and I start filing charges, Arthur and Bethie don't get any..." smile.