Crushes and Denial (Mavin)

Chapter 5

The week goes by extremely fast. I go to Johnny's parents evening and his teacher tells me he's doing amazing in his subjects and we go to the cafe every so often and we go and visit Geoff and before I know it its Friday. I take the day off work so I can pack for Olivia and Johnny and myself and go and pick up the car from Geoffs. I load the car with our stuff before going to pick up Olivia and Johnny. I take them home so they can change out of the clothes they wore for school and drop off their school bags and then we drive to the cafe.

"Hey guys!" Meg greets as we enter the cafe. She wasn't working today so she's sat on the sofa waiting.
"Hey Turney." I say as we sit with her.
"So, a week by a lake in a secluded spot. You gonna do something about Michael?" She asks and I bite my lip, shrugging.
"I don't know. Maybe." I say and she rolls her eyes just as Lindsay and Michael arrive.
"Finally! Let's go!" Meg says and I help them all load their bags into the back of the black Chevrolet truck. There are two rows of three seats in the truck so Meg and Johnny sit next to me in the front as Meg needs to tell me the way, Michael, Lindsay and Olivia sit in the back. We stop to buy food and drinks for when we're there and to buy snacks for the journey as it's a 4 hour drive and then we set off. The car ride is full of singing badly to loud music and snacking on the food we bought and having a laugh and before I know it we're pulling up in front of a beautiful lake house.
"Alright, all out!" I say as I turn off the engine and everyone climbs out. Olivia is sleeping so I carefully pick her up and carry her.
"How the fuck did she sleep through all that noise?" Lindsay asks smiling at Olivia and I shrug.
"I swear she could sleep through the end of the world." I say, smiling, and Lindsay chuckles. Michael carries my bag in for me and Meg grabs Olivia's for her and we lock the car before going into the house. It's got a big front room with a corner sofa facing a tv and another sofa next to it. There's a nice sized kitchen and 2 bathrooms. We take our bags to our rooms and I put Olivia in her bed before joining the rest of the guys in the front room.

We all spend most of the evening relaxing and chatting about nothing in particular and at around midnight Michael and I, the only ones still up, decide we should go to bed. I bite my lip as I walk into mine and Michaels room. Michael seems nervous too and it makes me feel better knowing I'm not the only one. We both change into our pyjamas, which is just a pair of joggers and no shirt but neither of us seem to mind the other seeing our body, and we climb into bed. I lie on my side with my back to Michael and after a while I hear his breathing become deeper. I sigh, not being able to fall asleep, and listen to Michaels soft and peaceful breathing, trying to let it send me to sleep. After a few hours, according to the clock on the bedside table its 3:48am, I decide to not bother trying to sleep and carefully get out of bed so as to not wake Michael up. I creep out onto the balcony attached to our room that overlooks the lake and lean gently on the banister, looking at the stars. I spot two stars that are much brighter than the rest and smile, knowing mum and dad are looking down on me and watching over us all.

I start thinking about my parents and what they did for me that they can't do for Johnny and Olivia and I start to feel that all too familiar emptiness.
"Gavver?" I hear Michaels soft voice come from behind me and I jump; I though he was asleep. I don't turn around to look at him but I can hear him walking over and a few seconds later I feel his body next to me and notice he's also leaning on the bar, his side pressed to my side and our arms touching.
"Are you okay?" He asks softly, not wanting to break the silence. It's now that I notice tears have been slowly leaking from my eyes down my cheeks and Michael is looking at me with such a sympathetic, almost loving, look in his eyes. I shake my head slightly and he sighs.
"You wanna talk about it?" He asks and I look back at the sky.
"You see those two stars? The ones shining brighter than the others?" I ask slowly and Michael nods, looking up at the sky.
"I was just thinking, that's my mum and dad. They used to tell me they'd always watch over me and I just like the thought of them actually looking over me and Johnny and Olivia." I say, suddenly realising I haven't told Michael about my parents.
"I bet that's them." Michael says and I smile slightly.
"Why aren't you asleep Gav?" Michael asks after a few minutes consisting of me looking at the stars and Michael looking from the stars to me and back again every so often.
"I couldn't sleep." I say quietly and I feel Michael grab my hand gently.
"You're freezing Gav. Come on." He says, pulling me back into the room and shutting the balcony door. He pulls me into a hug when we're both in the room and rubs my back and my arms, trying to warm me up and I finally notice I have goose bumps everywhere and I'm almost shivering.
"Come on, get into bed and get some sleep." Michael says and I nod, climbing back into bed. Michael climbs in behind me and I feel like he's about to wrap his arms around me before he rolls away so his backs to me. I sigh. Why do I have to be such a coward? All I have to do is roll over and ask him to hug me, all I have to do is tap him on the shoulder or call his name. All I have to do is tell him how I feel about him, but no. I'm too much of a coward.