Buttercream Imagines

21: My Version

Sometimes the smallest step in the right direction ends up being the biggest step of your life. Tip toe if you must, but take the step
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(Oli)
Olis pov

I look over at the clock aimlessly laying on the nightstand. 4am and i'm staring at the ceiling. Theres nothing up there, just like what she saw in our love. Emptiness. Laying here, by myself like i was last weekend was always the same but it wasn't me who was complaining. You left me alone without an explanation but i guess you had some damn good reasons. All those things that i said i didn't really mean them. But i kept going till your heart couldn't and you started bleeding. I done it. I fucked it. I ruined the only thing i ever believed in.
And now your gone, ive got to pretend that theres nothing wrong. But im still sat here by myself with the conversation still playing. Tearing up the notes till i cant see you anymore. I could've just walked out that door but I can barely make it. Not after what i saw it did to you. Im fucking ever girl that comes along and i dont care if you never say i'll make it. I just want you by my side to fix me up you know, it's getting late tonight. I hope you're doing alright.
This is my version of heartbreak. This is what i made myself do. All to get over  you. They all told me theres no point. Shes moved on and theres no crying on her side. But let me tell you, this is my version of heartbreak and its all i know how to do.
I look around the room clothes on the floor and the beds all mine. Going out every night and staying out till sunrise. Don't need to worry about being quiet when i get home because all the chains are gone and so are you.
Check my phone a couple hundred times to check if you've called, to check if you're still mine. I press your name for the last time, but still no answer and i dont even know why 'Just listen to me this is the last time. Im sorry and all those things i said you know i didnt even mean them. I just want to check you're still alright' I click the red button and push the photo to my chest. Of us together. I can't believe im such a mess. Im going to have to keep telling everyone theres nothing wrong until i can believe your not the one. After all, anything is better than facing up to reality.
This is my version of a heartbreak and its all i know how to do.

•••
Something different hope ya like.
~Jake