W h y

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The fear of the unknown, is it also called as xenophobia? or the fear of having to know nothing or too little of your surroundings.

When I was walking through that field of tall grasses, It came to me how I keep on thinking twice whether to have another step. I knew, I was afraid of becoming something I know nothing or little about. Like when I was swimming in the ocean one day, I would never know until where I can swim without standing back and having to look in my surroundings in my every stroke. 

Just to see if everything is in place you know, in a sense that If ever I close my eyes for a moment and open them, I'm afraid that everything will not be the way it is. So I don't want to close my eyes. I'm not afraid of strange. Not when it's there now. But the feeling before the strange came might me fearful to me. It's always the journey.  

Also, mazes are my worst nightmare.  I have no sense of direction and will be insane if ever I lost my way anywhere foreign or unfamiliar, alone. 

At night, when I need to go to the comfort room, I needed to pass through the living room to make it to the CR which infuriates me. I always check the room by pointing my flashlight to things and furniture that they are supposed to stay in their place. To remind myself that I am not passing through a black void. Nonetheless, I still excuse to myself that a thing is missing and argue to myself in thinking why it might be. Create reasons to stay afraid and run because of my thoughts. 

I don't know. This is some of how I feel. They come from time to time. Especially when I'm conscious about it. You, what's your fear? 



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