When I first loved you,
You were sitting across the theater laughing at a joke not brought on by me.
As I looked at your smile,
My heart started racing
And my stomachs turned into butterflies,
You were so beautiful I couldn't breathe.
I dreamed I'd stay in your arms forever.
The first time I ever saw you cry,
My heart dropped in my chest
And my stomach couldn't understand what this type of pain was.
I wanted to wrap my arms around you and tell you it would all be okay.
That I could shelter you from everything.
But to you,
I was so small
And your problems were a black hole,
Sucking any good part of your life in
And destroying what little happiness you'd found.
I wanted to be in love with you forever.
I wanted to imagine what it would be like to hold you when you couldn't get out of bed in the morning,
I ached to understand the inner workings of your mind and decipher the reason behind your humming bird heart beat.
I used to day dream about loving you till we were old.
But that's all it was...
a day dream.
Not real,
And never worth finding the deeper meaning.
My friends try to tell me my dreams are the universes way of telling me it can't happen,
And maybe they're right.
But no matter how much I wanna leave,
I can't bring myself to,
And it's slowly beginning to kill me.
