I am so lost.
My mind is an ongoing hurricane,
Destroying memories we shared
As if they were made out of straw.
You say I need to change,
As though change is as easy as changing clothes,
Almost as if change could make you
Love me more.
I dont want you to leave,
I dont want you to think that I am not
Good enough to be in your story
To have your time.
You say I'm sorry
The same way one swallows poison.
Not realizing that what you're doing
Is killing me.
I sometimes wish I could leave.
Not you, but earth in general.
I wish I could curl up and close my eyes,
And everything around me would go black,
That I could float in that darkness
For the rest of eternity.
Because then maybe
My brain would finally be quiet.
Because I can't live like this for much longer.
I can't constantly be looking over my shoulder,
Hoping you'll be watching by back
And instead, finding a knife.
I'm sorry,
This is not the person I wanted to be.
I'm not strong like I want to be
And I mess up too much.
I'm trying.
This isnt easy for me
But I am trying.
I just hope itll be enough.
