"You know what kills me the most? I trusted you. Over and over again. You sucked me bone dry and I have nothing else in me to even forgive myself. Which makes this entire thing my fault. I can point fingers at you all I want, I can hate you and curse at you, I can call you vulgar things, Tell your "friends" the shit you say behind their backs. I could destroy your life piece by piece, all in the name of justice. But at the end of the day, When I'm laying in bed reflecting on what went wrong, what it comes down to, is, If I hadn't trusted you, James, I wouldn't have given you the option to hurt me." He noticed she was shaking. Though, she couldn't tell if it was just the cold or something else. She looked down at her feet as a tear slid off her face, she seemed disgruntled at it's defiance to stay put.
"I'm so-" he began
"But Goddamn you," She whispered" Damn you for making me trust you in the first place," her fists balled up at her sides. "Damn you for always knowing what was wrong by looking at me," unclench, "Damn you for always knowing how to make me feel better, and what to say when I just needed someone to believe in!" Her body went limp for a moment, When she finally looked up, her eyes shone with an aged sadness. One that comes after one has been completely shattered, "You did the worst thing one could do to a person, you got me to love you. You convinced me you were someone I could give a portion of my heart to, and instead of taking care of that love and trust, you turned into my kryptonite."
"Rebecca, I didn't-"
"Didn't what, James? Mean to hurt me? Mean to take the very thing you know I hold dear and kill me with it?" Her eyes closed and she sighed, "Fine. If you're really sorry, true-fully, actually, 100%, sorry, Look me in the eyes and tell me so. Look me in the eyes and apologize. If you can do that, I'll forgive you and this will all be over with." She started at him, waiting.
By God did he want to. He wanted to have her courage, her strength, to tell her he was sorry. That everything he did was a relapse in judgment, That it would never happen again. But her hazel stare, the pain in every motion of her body... It stopped him. He couldn't make anymore promises he couldn't keep, not to her.
The silence around them was sickening. After a moment, she straightened her back and he swore he could see whatever faith she had in him leave her. "That's what I thought."
She left him standing there, feeling more alone than he ever had before.
