saeran route (saeran x reader)

9 ; at last.

Saeran felt himself wake up, his eyes still closed and the feeling of the morning sun shining through the window on his face. After a few moments, he opened his eyes and immediately caught eye of Y/N laying beside him, fast asleep. He quickly recalled the events that had occurred the previous night, and, ignoring the impulse to jump up and squeal, keeping that composed, he slowly slid up the arm of the couch, laying Y/N down gently by herself to continue resting on the couch. Saeran covered his rosy cheeks with his hands, sweating as he sat down on the ground to look at the girl's face and compose himself.
He was amazed that even while asleep, she still looked stunningly beautiful. Just as this thought crossed his mind, she twitched and began to wake up from the long night's rest. He jolted, quietly tip-toeing across the room to sit down on a chair. Y/N stretched and rubbed her eyes, sitting up to cross her legs and scan the room when her eyes opened.
"Saeran?" She spoke when her eyes landed on his still flustered appearance.
"Uh, hello. Good morning, I mean." He stuttered. She giggled a bit at this, looking down.
"Yeah. Good morning."
Saeran felt guilt. After the way he had treated her before this whole mess started, he didn't deserve comfort from her. He quickly composed himself and gripped his hair, sighing.
"Look, I'm really sorry about last night." He said quickly and quietly. Y/N looked up from her phone that she had grabbed, obviously confused.
"But... why? What happened?"
He clenched his fist in his hair before letting it go and allowing his hand to drop.
"I don't know. Just everything I suppose. I really... don't think this is a good idea. Me.. and you."
He explained. Y/N's expression turned to what almost looked like despair.
"Why? I don't understand..." She said softly. Saeran was frustrated at this point. At everything, at himself, and confused at her for feeling the way she obviously did about him, building up into an anger that caused him to just snap.
"I just can't do it, okay! I can't. I can't go on with... this! Whatever this is! This is... disgusting! I can't do it... I can't.."
He began to look down at the ground. Y/N breathed shakily, wiping under her eyes and exhaling to calm herself.
"I'm sorry, I actually have some emails I have to reply to. So if you'd excuse me." She stood up slowly, and walked towards her room, abruptly shutting the door.

Saeran barely budged all day. The most he moved was when he decided to look out the window while smoking one of his cigarettes instead of sitting and staring at the ceiling as he had done with the other smokes he had that day. He had no appetite. He felt numb. The anger that he had inside of him had built up and spilled out, and he had nothing left but numbness, and the faint feeling of hurt in the back of his throat.
At long last, Y/N's door opened, the smell of tobacco smoke filling up her nostrils and the silhouette of a man in front of the window. He turned around at the creaking door and the two made eye contact. It was what seemed like eternity before anyone spoke a word, but Y/N opened her lips and spoke her mind.
"I know. I just know. I know that you aren't happy. I knew from the moment I first spoke to you. I can hear it in your voice, I can feel it on your skin, and I can see it in your smoke. I did my absolute best to try and make you feel okay and welcome just while you were here. I mean absolutely no harm at all. And you know that. I... care about you, Saeran."
She stepped a little closer with each word, the two now about 10 feet apart. Saeran shivered at the words. His cigarette dropped on the ground, and the moment it hit it, all of the numbness drowned out. As he quickly walked towards Y/N with tears in his eyes, he felt feelings that were rare to him completely fill his heart.
Compassion and love.

I love y'all here u go