Stripper || z.m

twelve : zwölf

Kasmir
She didn't stop walking.

No matter what car calls were being thrown her way, no matter the amount of money being offered for her services; she didn't stop walking.

Through the pouring rain, blistering wind, she ignored it all. This isn't the first time someone has used Kasmir for the way she looks or the shape of her body. That's all that guys have ever been attracted to, never her personality never the little things she does. It's always been the curve of her body.

But in this situation can she blame Zayn? After all she is a stripper, and does use her body for money. So what is she mad for about Zayn?
She already knew how much of a hoe he was and she knew he just took girls for sex.

Nearing her apartment she shook her head and rolled her eyes. "I'm so stupid. I'm so damn stupid." She groaned out. People who were on the the streets stared at her as she was crazy, probably because she looked like a damn raccoon with her running makeup and she's shouting like a mad man. However, she ignored the looks and kept on until she got to her apartment.

Once she entered, the light instantly turned on and Cairo was sprawled across the couch. "You should have been home hours ago."

Kasmir rolls her eyes and walks past her overprotective brother. "Hop off man, I went out." He shakes his head in disbelief and sits up so his elbows are perched on his knees. "Why didn't you call a cab, call me, have a co-worker take you home? You never walk in the rain and why are you holding a separate pair of clothes?"

Kasmir looks down at the bundle in her arms, and ever so faintly, a metallic strap pokes spit from behind the jacket she's using to conceal her uniform. She readjust the clothes within her arms and turns her back to her brother.

"I'm taking a shower, goodnight I love you." With that she turns on her heels and slams the door to her room closed. Instantly tears start to stream down her cheeks and she can't stop herself. She's crying at half the fact that Zayn would actually say something like that but mostly because she's still going through things like this.

Her entire life she's been criticized because the color of her skin or just simply because she is black. No she's not the darkest person or doesn't have the kinkiest hair so she knows she has some type of privilege compared to darker girls but she still sympathizes with all colors on the spectrum.

No one should be ridiculed or singled out because their skin is darker than the person to their right. It makes no sense in her mind and it absolutely disgust her that color shaming is still a thing, but hey, she lives in America so it's not changing anytime soon. She walks up to her vanity and stares at her reflection.

"I am worth it, I am beautiful, I'm proud of the skin I'm in and I'm the baddest bitch I know." She recites those words five more times.

She recites those words every night before she goes to bed, self esteem and self confidence is something she struggles with as an eighteen year old and has struggled with her entire life. There was a point time in her life where she truly hated herself and who she had become, her mind back then was not healthy and she knew that she had to do something about it or it was no telling what wouldn't happen.

She wiped the stray tears from her brown cheeks, dropped every article of clothing from her body and walked into the shower. She acted as if the water was a mechanism that rid her of all her troubles and worries. She acted as if the water carried her problems off of her and down the the drain. If only it was that easy.

She hurried to clean the rest of her body and stepped out the shower. Wrapping a towel around her body she exits her bathroom nd carries on into her room. Her phone was buzzing nonstop so she went over and picked it up. All from Zayn a few from her older brother Khalif saying he took care of business for her. Kasmir ignores Zayns text and goes straight to Khalif's.

Kasmir: What do you mean you took care of business??

While she awaited for his reply she went in and read Zayns texts. All saying he's deeply sorry for his actions and he apologizes and everything he said wasn't true and he didn't even know why he said what he did.

She takes it with a grain of salt, she's heard all of this before and right now, his actions are louder than words. This has happened multiple times to her, too many times to count honestly. She leaves him on read and goes back to her brothers.

Khalif: I was in the wing joint tonight and saw everything go down with that punk ass bitch. Don't talk to him no more and I'm telling Cai about him too. If I find out he's talking to you again I'm not gone stop this time. Ain't no punk gone be talking to my little sister like that, you've been through too much and I'm not having it.

Kas appreciates what he did but feelsnit wasn't necessary, Zayn called her out of her name, so what. There's worse that could've happened but her brothers are over-protective of her and will go to great lengths just to make sure she's okay and taken care of.

Zayn: Please Kas I'm deeply sorry and sadden at my choice of words I used with you. Shit, I don't apologize I don't admit when I'm wrong. I've done things so wrong and wouldn't feel a thing but I feel real bad man. This is hard for me to do but please I really need to see you face to face.

She stares blankly at her phone, rereading the message over and over, contemplating whether she should accept or not, she doesn't want to repeat and ongoing cycle but this is Zayn.

This is Zayn..

Kasmir: Middleton park at two tmro

She doesn't wait for his reply, instead she shuts her phone off and turns her tv into the Full house. She tries to rid of the events that occurred tonight and fall asleep with a clear conscious.

From time to time the sound of footsteps and her door handle being grab advert her attention, she knows it's Cairo and that he wants to talk to her but he's giving her her space which she really appreciates.

*
Update two months later whattttttt, ya I really suck but hey I'm trying.