These Arms of Mine (Bucky Barnes x Reader)

Chapter 4

A few nights later, you and Natasha were baking cookies in the kitchen, getting pretty silly, when she brought up Bucky.

"So you and Barnes... what's going on there?" she said, laying it on you out of nowhere.

"He's nice," you said, pretending not to know what she meant.

"That's it?" she said, sighing in your direction.

You got up to take a look at the cookies in the oven. "These are ready," you said, putting an oven glove on. Natasha moved closer and took a seat at a bar stool facing you. The smell of chocolate chip cookies was overwhelming.

"I don't know if you've realized this yet... but he's not as outgoing with everyone else as he is with you," she said, raising an eyebrow at you.

"What do you mean, Nat?" you asked. "He's not rude."

"No, that's not what I mean. I mean he seems comfortable around you... he isn't like that with everyone," she said.

"Oh... well, he's nice... he's my neighbor. I took him under my wing," you said. "Oh, I didn't get to tell you, he knows... the thing."

"He knows?" she scrunched her eyebrows. "Ohhh, the thing." You two were careful about where you talked about your crush on Steve. She walked over to the intercom. "Hang on a sec," she held up a finger and then pressed the button. "Boys, milk and fresh cookies in the kitchen." She turned back to look at you. "That means we have about 60 seconds. Okay, so what did he say when you told him?"

"I didn't, he came to that conclusion on his own," you said. "He said he will not tell but the odd thing is, I swear he did something the other day to make you know who jealous during sparring."

"Oh really?" Natasha said, looking more interested. "That's funny because I thought the other one was acting a little strange that day... hmm..."

You heard the door open from the other end of the room and saw Clint walk in. "We'll pick this up later," you said to Natasha.

"You two beautiful ladies are making my night," Clint said as he stepped up to the counter. Steve and Bucky started walking towards the kitchen. They all sat down on stools at the counter, looking like puppies called for dinner.

Natasha started scooping cookies onto napkins for everyone while you got the milk out. Bucky gave you a smile as you opened the refrigerator. Maybe your judgement about him was a little clouded after all. No, I'm sure that was a normal smile. I know him better than Natasha does anyway...

With your head still in the refrigerator, you heard Steve make a gasp followed by him saying, "Ladies, you are my heroes tonight... this cookie is amazing."

You smiled at him as you started pouring glasses of milk. "Natasha and I think this counts as team bonding, Steve." He did often encourage bonding which was always pretty fun, in your opinion. That night was no different, as you all sat around in the kitchen and laughed.

As it got later, you stifled a little yawn and covered your mouth. "I'm sorry, guys. I'm fading here."

Bucky shifted on his stool, "I'll walk down with you."

As you said goodnight to everyone and started to step away, Steve reached out to give you a one armed hug, "(Y/N), thanks for the cookies, you're the best."

"You're welcome," you said and shuffled away. When you and Bucky were closer to the main hallway and out of earshot, you let out a sigh that blew the hair right out of your face.

"You okay?" he asked, turning to you.

"Sure," you said, not very convincingly.

Bucky put his arm around your shoulders and said, "Come on." He walked you to your room and as you opened your door, he said "It's going to be okay," as he gave your arm a light, playful punch.

"Goodnight, Buck," you said as you slipped into your room feeling tired and dejected. He was being sweet but you knew if you stayed in that hallway a second longer, your eyes were going to fill with tears and betray you. And you didn't want your friend to see that. As you started getting ready for bed, you dropped the needle on your favorite album once again.

***

Hours later, in the middle of the night, you wake up to a horrible noise. It doesn't immediately occur to you what the noise is until...

Oh no, it's Bucky...

He was screaming, most likely still asleep. You leaped out of bed and ran to his door, trying to decide whether to knock or just go in. The screaming suddenly stopped and you knocked lightly, then opened the door.

"Buck, it's me... it's (Y/N)," you said in as calm a voice as you could muster.

"Hey," he said, his voice groggy and hoarse. "I'm sorry I woke you."

You moved closer to him. "Don't worry about that, are you okay?" You squatted down next to the bed so you could get a better look at him without being too intrusive.

"This is normal," he sighed. "I'm used to it."

You had not yet seen this look on his face in the time you'd known him. He looked helpless and exhausted, like he'd just come back from battle. He stood up off the bed and walked to the window. The 3 am city lights reflected off his body and you could see his face in the glass. This was heartbreaking and you wondered how he got any sleep at all.

"Do you want me to go?" you asked in a small voice.

He was quiet for a second before he turned his face back towards you slightly. "No, I don't."

You walked towards him and the window, slowly slipping your arms around him. He leaned his head down close to yours and just let you hug him. The sensation of a metal arm around your back was odd but not the worst thing ever. After all, it was attached to Bucky. You could feel plenty of his skin at this point too, being that you were wearing a tank top and he had no shirt on. You tried not to think about that and just hold him like he needed to be held. Standing there by the window, his head pressed against yours, you could see him staring out the window.

"Buck, I know a place that has great food in the middle of the night..." you said softly.

He let out a soft laugh, "Thanks but I don't think I'm in any shape to go out."

"Okay," you said, squeezing him a little tighter.

"Would you stay for a while?" he asked. He was more vulnerable than you could have imagined him to be, for someone who had been a tease and jokester with you all this time.

"Of course," you said and the two of you walked to the bed.

Bucky laid down on his side, facing you, and you sat up and leaned against the headboard, lightly brushing his hair away from his face. You wanted to say something comforting but nothing came to mind, so you continued to just be there for him physically. He was quiet for a long while, you could tell he was tired, especially when he curled closer to your legs. You didn't see yourself falling back to sleep at all, the memory of his screams was burning into your brain. You could see that even as tired as he was, he was making sure he kept his metal arm off of you.