Uncle Simon's daughter (One Direction)

Not Okay

~ Wow. Its been a while since I have updated and I am rrreeeaaalllly sorry about that. I had writers block but I think I'm past that now. CRCT's are coming up so it will be about a week before the next update.Happy Easter! God's not dead. (: ~

~Mack's POV~

Everything is okay. I'm alive and well... sort of. I still shake a lot for some reason but other than that, my medicine handles my PTSD. Liam and I have gotten... close you can say now. But, he's become kind of brotherly, if you know what I mean.

"Youre not eating" He says as I walk in my flat. I just came back from another day of filming and arranging my other plans with my agent.

"Well hello to you too." I replied sarcastically, laying down my keys on the countertop. Only Liam and Zayn stayed back with me. The rest of the boys went to see their families and to prepare for the approaching tour. It is now the last day of February. Filming is almost over and One Direction's tour should start in a couple months. I have maybe a week left of filming, a break until they go on tour, then on to the movie with Dave Franco.

"You're losing weight fast, and thats not okay." He spoke, ignoring my comment.

"My day was great, thanks. I got to meet some fans and Colin's wife. She was very sweet. Oh, Ginnifer and Josh are getting married soon and I have to get my maid of honor dress." I continued to steer him away from the topic. The truth is, I have been eating. Its probably the loss of my kidney that is making me lose weight.

The doctor said these things could happen, but they would only be temporary and to not worry. Apparently... Liam didnt hear that at all. He tended to worry about me and treat me like a baby and its starting to get annoying.

"You need to eat something. Its not healthy to not eat. I dont know why you're starving yourself but it needs to stop-"

"Okay, Liam." I snapped, forcefully putting my hand on the table. "I get it. I'm not starving myself. Piss off. Stop treating me like I'm six."

He had a stunned look on his face, which instantly made me regret what I said. I sighed, rubbing my hand across my face.

"I'm getting in the shower. Dont come in my room" Then, turning and leaving the room, I grabbed my cup of orange juice off the counter from this morning.

I didnt mean to snap at him. He has to understand that this is a huge change for me and just a series of unfortunate events. They came out of nowhere and things just started happening to me.

Not to mention that I have now admitted my feelings for Liam to myself. I dont have super feelings, like undying love or anything-ew- but I find him facinating and fit, which seems like a good combination. Its just really weird and new for me right now. Youre used to doing everything by yourself, being completely independent with everything you do, and a bunch of people just burst into your life and care.

I realize that its not just the boys and Perrie; It includes Robbie and all of my fellow actors, some of which who are close friends, and my new agent, Alice. All of these people care for me in some kind of way and I cant help but feel kind of suffocated. I love them all, dont get me wrong, but going from no one to a massive amount of people is crazy.

It was easy to act my way through a couple people when I had no one except Perrie. I'm stubborn and independent with almost everything I do. But now, it will be a challenge. I have to act my way through a crowd of people who care about me for some reason. And really, even if I wont admit it about some of them, I care for them too, and that has been an issue for me all of my life.

All of this thinking has taken a while and the water flowing around me has begun to get cold. I turn it off and get out of the shower. When my pjs are on and I'm cozy in bed, I decide to turn on the t.v. Its Psych night, and thats my show.

When I turn it on, its on a news channel. I must have been watching that before I went to sleep last night. I turned the volume up as I saw my dad on the television.

"Simon Cowell's baby with Lauren Silverman is in the spotlight now! After little baby Eric was delivered on February 14th, Simon and Lauren have been spending all of their time together. We have not heard from rising star and Simon's daughter, Mackenzie Cowell, about her thoughts on the baby. She is currently filming for the hot t.v. show, Once Upon a Time. In other news, Miley Cyrus is at it again! Tune in after these messages."

I sat there, blinking rapidly. My first thought was to call my dad. And thats exactly what I did as I picked up my cell phone.

" Hello?" His voice filtered through the phone. I sucked in a breath, trying to keep my voice steady.

"Hey... Dad. Anything new going on?" I greeted him. I was talking slower than usual, still in a state of shock.

"Not really. Just normal work days here, seeing clients and all. How is everything there?" He lied so easily, it scared me. I mean, he's been lying to me the whole time.

"So" I said, ignoring his question and cutting straight to the chase. "When were you going to tell me you had a girlfriend?" I started out small.

"Well I-" He began but I cut him off.

"Or that she was pregnant with your baby?"

"Mackenzie, I-"

"Or that she had that baby on the 14th and you made it a point to keep all of this away from me?" My voice rose with every word I said.

There was silence on the other end. I knew he didnt hang up yet. My anger was bubbling up and I was struggling to keep it down.

"I trusted you." Was all I said. "You are my dad and I trusted you."

Simon finally spoke. "Mackenzie. I'm sorry. I know how you must feel-"

"YOU DONT, SIMON!" I yelled, not holding it in any longer. I even used his first name, which probably hurt me more than him. "You dont" I said, quieter. "You never did." Then, I hung up.

I sat back on my bed silently, not knowing what to do next. There was a quiet knock on the door and I quietly responded with a "Not now Liam".

The knob still turned, but instead of Liam, I found Zayn. He closed the door behind him and made his way over to me. He didnt say a word and instead sat beside me and pulled me into a hug.

"Are you okay?" he whispered.

"Yes" 

"Liar" He called me out.

"Actress" I corrected. He sat there for a second, thinking that over.

"Youre not okay." He concluded.

"No, no I'm not."

~ Woah. Thats all I have to say. Thanks for reading guys! ~  Gabby. (:

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