8/29
being at the bottom of the ocean is bliss! so serene! so sweet! so calm!
you don't have to solve sudoku puzzles. or, learn superior english and analyze newspaper articles. no more mermaids because the bottom is too dark too deep too boring for them. now, they won't steal your room and eat your leftover buffalo wings.
oh, being up top! what a shame!
you have to read the signs and steer your ship to the right direction (that's a stop sign not a green light!) and you need to solve sudoku puzzles in order to attract the fish into the net. the mermaids always beat you at it because their glittery pink brains are so shiny and full of silver gems that unlock the key to each and every question or puzzle. they can solve any riddle, speak in god's language, and fuck the archangels (they're into bad boys) every wednesday before they have to go and ace calculus. they crack open your brain and find slithering worms and holes. although they know, they can't seem to solve that dried up, bruised, mud pink thing you call a brain.
and they steal your food. every morsel. they steal your oxygen and force you to breathe in water. they steal your ship and drag you into their abyss. they speak english better than shakespeare and from what they understand, the newspaper seems to say that the government is the key to our survival (fuck communism). they steal and kill and destroy.
you better hope that they don't summon the Spirit of Radical Jane! her pale ghost will come upon you and you will be shocked by how basic how muted how cream she is. the Spirit of Radical Jane will sanctify you with the ocean and push your ship to the gates of hell.
GET OUT GET OUT
so, instead of dealing with that, you could just dive in. swim past them and sink like the titanic. the lower you get, the more tranquil you become.
come on in! the water is just fine.
