9/15
my heart is an oasis — full of pure water that the felix fish float in. there are platinum streams in my atriums and crystallized waterfalls in my ventricles. once, molly swallowed an uncooked nemo for lunch with her alien friends and violently dislodged him from her cough drop syrup guts and launched him into a spaceship. he sails all the way back to the nile river and is revived. he sings a sailor's tune and makes my heart bubble like a carbonated beverage.
yet, his friends run to octavia's heart and drown in her acidic tomb. they say she's sweeter than me. she tastes like a candy apple tree. her heart was founded on brick and the stones pelt the groaning fish. but, they flock to her like a herd of sheep being shepherded by the big bad wolf.
in the summer, her river is as dirty as mississippi. but all in all, she's so cold. frozen like a statue. in the winter, even the river in her heart becomes a tomb. it shrinks into itself — as narrow as an alleyway. as narrow as her eyes (as her mind).
she wins all the medals. she can run she can swim she can act she can dance she can sing she can write she can draw she can ace calculus she can speak fluent soft french she can rule rome for octavius she can stab caesar better than brutus ever could she can gracefully die for antony she can steal she can kill she can destroy she can live and she can't die for herself. when her heart stops, her soul starts to beat.
so fucking cold. so goddamn cold. but they just skate on her heart and lick her ribs like ice cream bars and use her blood cells as snowballs and celebrate christmas all year long. ra's kisses never warm her up. they only make him get infected with a plague, but he still kisses her. he never puts his lips anywhere near me even though the sahara draws heat from my bones.
they say i'm too soft. they say that i slither in the temple and look for ways to knock the soldiers down like dominos. they say the army is afraid of me. that even the gods don't want to hear my hiss.
i'm too wet too loud too quiet too real too hot. they say that i start the forest fires. that i burned down the dinosaurs. that i am too hot for hell. that even satan can't touch my arm without turning to ash.
but, did she ever give birth to music? did she let it ravage her body? let it live in her blood vessels? let it eat her like leftover pizza? let it wring her heart out?
can she paint with the wind? can she take out her brain and use it as a canvas? can she seduce the wind and use all the colors to outsmart van gogh? can she make art out of her roots? chop all her hair off and paint the ocean with black dreads?
has she ever had her body used as a ship? has she ever been sent to an alien world? has she ever served the martians? has she ever died for her brother? has she ever seen her child swallow her brother, her sister, her father? has she ever sung in a birdcage? has she ever stood up even though her legs were torn off by vultures? has she ever tasted hot 'ol mississippi? has she ever felt the rain? has she ever burnt her feet by walking on the sun? has she ever made her own dinner? has she ever slept in the shadows?
she is but the evil one who has never lived a life. her goal is to conquer our hearts and make them her palace. to steal our minds and make them her seat at the table.
but, she'll never steal my river.
i will shower over egypt and bring my mother back to life.
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black girls rock!
