Miss Popular and the Nerd

Ch. 11My true self

Chapter 11

My true self

Nessi POV  

“How could he do this to me! I just don't understand! We were so perfect for each other!” Hannah sobs. Oh shut up! Hannah is the most annoying person ever. All the whining and sobbing and crying.  

“At least we are in this together!” I say reassuring her although I would rather slap her so she can come back to sense.  

“ Yeah. You're right.” She says and pulls me into a hug. Get her off me. Great! Now I have all her tears and sweat on me. Just what I was waiting for. Instead of pulling away I accept the hug even if I don't want to. Sacrifices have to be made. One day when Angie isn't queen bee anymore but Hannah is I will kick Hannahs lazy ass off that throne and it will be mine! But I still have to play that dumb servant so she thinks that I am her friend. Pah! There is a big difference between Hannah and me. I just pretend to be dumb but she actually is. I mean I am not even a natural blonde.

Before the divorce I always hung out with my brother Jace and his nerd friends. After the divorce and me being the only one living at my dads I wanted to be popular. So first of all I had to get rid of everything that could connect me to them. I dyed my hair blonde and bought new clothes. I kept my dads last name and the rest of the family got my moms name. I was not allowed to be myself so I decided to play dumb. I haven't been my real self since well forever. And I only sacrificed my virginity to show everybody that I am still that dumb blonde because I think that some people were seriously getting suspicious. I always get good grades. Hannah thinks I bully people into doing my homework. Everybody else thinks I sleep with the teachers. I do all my homework by myself but pretend to understand nothing in school. The second reason why I slept with Matt was to get attention. Attention never does any harm if you want to be popular. And I am a good actress which helped boost the whole thing up a bit. Third reason was that losing your virginity had to be done sometime so why not use the opportunity. People always say that you have to seal the deal with someone you love and someone that loves you back. But I seriously doubt that someone will ever love me. I outsmart them all. And by the way my past keeps haunting me.  

“Look, Han. I am really sorry but I gotta get home. See you tomorrow. K? Love you!” I whisper into her ear. I stings every time I have to say I love you. It is so not true. I don't understand why Hannah hasn't noticed the sarcasm and boredom in my voice yet. Dumb blonde, I guess.  

“It's okay. See ya!” She says. I am so glad it's okay with you that I can go away. But I don't give a crap. I go to my car and drive home. My dad is still on that business trip in France. That means I am all alone with Cheyenne. Kill me now! Cheyenne is my stupid step mother. I'd rather say step sister concerning her age. I am sixteen, she is 21. She is five years older than me. She is like a girl from a playboy magazine. Amazing body but nothing in her non-existant brain. I guess that is why my dad loves her. He never even introduced me to her. I came home early one day from school because I didn't feel well. I went to my room and heard moaning and groaning. That made me even more sick than I already was. I accidentally went into their room instead of mine and well saw everything they were doing. Three words to describe that moment: Scarred for Life! And with Cheyenne came countless business trips, her presence every minute of my day and her annoying squeaky voice. Just what I wished for! My parents divorced four years ago. I decided to stay with my dad because we always had this connection. If I had problems I would always go to him to talk about them. Not my mom. The first year after the divorce was great. Dad and I bonded and we had a lot of fun together. Then my dad met Cheyenne. She was his assistant. Yeah! It is exactly what you think. She seduced her boss. Then the bedroom incident happened when I was thirteen. So I was really scarred. At least I knew what was coming towards me. I guess that is another reason why I didn't make a big fuss out of sleeping with Matt. I didn't really care. Now that my dad is gone on that business trip I have to stay with Cheyenne. I think she is only together with dad because she is after his money. It really wouldn't surprise me.

I am so lost in my thoughts that I almost miss my house. Nah... let's rather say villa. I turn and drive into the garage. I go into the foyer and hear “Sweety! Already here! I made some cocktails. Come join my on the patio!” Cocktails! Pah. It is two in the afternoon. She is seriously suffering from an enourmous attck of confusion. Or not. She is just addicted to alcohol. And my dad encourages it! His reason? She is even better in bed. How should I know? My room is right next to theirs. That is why I hate to come home. All the sex going on everywhere. But al least it is better here than with Hannah whining all the time.  

“I don't really feel like cocktails today. I don't really feel like seeing you today either!” I scream loud enough so she can hear me. Her response

“Agh... Teenagers.” I reply

“Agh... Escaped playboy bunny that is only with my dad so she can get the money and has good sex!” Many people wonder why I am so open about sex. The thing is I don't really care. About anything actually. I go into my room and lock the door like always. I wish I could turn back time and never meet Cheyenne. She stole my dad from me. What is better?
A) Spending quality time with your daughter
or
B) having sex in every position and room in our house? Apparently B. He never has time for me only for Cheyenne. I seriously don't remember the last time we spent one whole day together. He talks with me for five minutes and then Cheyenne gets jealous and seduces him again. Story of my LIFE! I would much rather spend time with him than get his money to go and buy stuff I don't need.  

Sometimes I regret going with dad instead of mom. She was always there for me when I needed her but I always chose dad. I really miss my siblings. But sacrifices have to be made if you want to be popular. I mean having a geek as a brother is bad enough. The last time we talked was the day after the divorce. He hated me for going with dad and not supporting mom. We haven't talked since. I guess it was for the better.   After the first eleven years of my life I decided to change. First thing of course to dye my hair blonde. Then to become the person I feared. The person I feared was Hannah. She bullied me sice the first year of school. But then I got to know her I we became what we are now. Then Angie came and we were the three most popular and perfect blondes in high school. And now I am here alone in my bedroom. Things changed. And they still are changing but I am not sure if for better or for worse.

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True self!

3 questions:
1. What do you say to that!?
2. Do think it is a good name for the chapter?
3. Did you expect that?

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