Life After Near Death

Just Survive

"In these dangerous times, where it seems that the world is ripping apart at the seams, we all can learn how to survive from those who stare death squarely in the face every day..."
― Jonathan Larson

Gray had just left the hospital's chapel after a long prayer when he saw a gurney going by, and although most of the face was covered with an oxygen mask, he caught sight of spiky, pink hair.

"Natsu!" He jogged after it.

One of the orderlies held him back. "I'm sorry, sir. He's still unconscious and probably will be for a while."

"What? For a while? Why?"

Wendy came up after the doctors, looking exhausted with Carla holding her up. "He has to be on oxygen, and even a tiny flame could ignite the place, plus any rise in body temperature could destroy the hemodialysis machine, and any strain at all to his heart could make it stop again. To keep him safe, I enchanted Natsu with a sleeping spell. He's not in a coma, but a very, very deep sleep." She stumbled, and Carla grabbed her, flying to hold her up.

"You really need to rest," the white Exceed warned her. "You did all you can for now."

"I'm sorry, Gray," Wendy muttered. "I'm so sorry."

He patted her head. "I'm sure you did a lot just to keep him alive. Lucy rented a room somewhere in town. Go get some sleep."

Carla guided Wendy out of the hospital, and Gray turned back to the gurney wheeling away. He followed at a distance and saw which room Natsu was put into. After things cleared out, he walked up to the door and knocked. Of course, no one answered. He stepped in, and the scene was terribly familiar. Natsu laid on a metal frame bed with a white sheet covering him from the waist down. His face had gone ashen from blood loss. All around the bed were monitors for his heart, blood pressure, oxygen, and one device not familiar to Gray. Looking at the label, he saw it was the hemodialysis machine purifying Natsu's blood since his kidneys had failed.

No, not failed. They were completely obliterated!

Natsu's stomach was wrapped thickly, and Gray recognized exactly the same types of bandaging he had when his guts had been blasted and had to be rearranged, sewn back together, pieced in a way so he could eat. However, there was also a bandage on his chest. Natsu had not been hurt there, so it took a while for Gray to understand why it was bandaged.

It was the pacemaker now in Natsu's heart, in case it stopped suddenly. It would zap his heart to force it to keep beating.

His heart! The face Natsu made before collapsing flashed violently through Gray's mind. Natsu had looked weary but happy at their victory, yet only seconds later he had an expression of pain, shock, horror, and sadness. As he grabbed his chest, his eyes had met Gray's, and they were filled with intense regret.

Gray realized now, Natsu must have known what was happening in those few seconds before his heart stopped. He knew, and he realized Gray would have to see it. He would have to be told. He would finally know the truth, and Natsu regretted that his secret could no longer be a secret.

"You idiot. You goddamn fucking idiot!" Gray collapsed to the side of the hospital bed and buried his face down into the mattress to silence his anger before the nurses found him and kicked him out. He punched the metal bed frame and sobbed into Natsu's blanketed legs. "Why did you do it? Did you think I'd want this?" he snarled through thick tears. "Did you think I would ever want you to risk your life for me?"

As he cried, he realized that Natsu knew precisely how Gray would feel about such actions, and it was why he hid the truth all these months.

"It was just a leg, Natsu. Just a leg! I could have replaced the leg. I was planning to, had the prosthetic picked out and everything. I can replace a limb. I ... I can't replace you." He clutched Natsu's cold body. "Shit, I could never replace you."