Chapter 4 - Trying For Normal

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Chapter 4 - Trying for Normal

| Sappy Chapter Warning: Your friends are the best. |

After running a few errands and stopping at the grocery store for some dinner ingredients, you sat in your car and sent a text to the rest of the team.

"Special dinner tonight at 5, please be there if you can."

When you got back, it was late enough to start cooking dinner. It felt like another day gone, no workout fit in, no normalcy... but you weren't in a ball in the corner, crying, so it was more successful than it could have been. You felt hope rise in your chest and you started to work on getting a beef roast into the oven. Making one of Steve's favorite meals felt like doing something instead of sitting back and waiting. Besides, you felt like maybe everyone could use a little comfort food after the way this week had gone.

Hours later, you'd made mashed potatoes, a nice salad and you had wine chilling in a bucket of ice. It was almost 5:00 and the roast was ready, so you took it out of the oven. Just then, you heard your phone chime.

"How's our boy?" It was from Sam.

You typed back, "His attitude is good but he's in pain and still doesn't remember."

"How are YOU?" he returned.

"Missing him, but I'm going to be okay," you typed.

"I'm sorry I can't be there for your dinner. Roast beef?"

"Yes. I miss YOU too, Sam. : )"

You heard light footsteps and looked up to see Steve entering the room. "It smells amazing in here."

"Thanks," you smiled. "Dinner's almost ready, have a seat," you said, gesturing to the bar stools. "You can keep me company."

Steve's face lit up as he listened to the music you'd been playing. "Is this Gene Krupa?!"

"Yeah," you smiled, "I thought you might like something familiar. This whole channel plays 1940's music."

"Thanks," he said, his face lightening more.

"Oh, I almost forgot," you said, reaching into your pocket. "I talked to my hairdresser, this stuff might be close to the hair cream you are used to." You handed him the small tube.

"That's so... nice..." he said, struggling for words. "Thank you."

Just then, Tony walked through and looked at Steve, adding, "Yeah, her boyfriend's a very lucky guy."

Tony walked up to you and frowned. "I'm sorry I can't stay for dinner, Pepper and I have a benefit to go to tonight." He hugged you and whispered in your ear, "I know what this means to you, I'm sorry. You're amazing though."

As Tony walked out, mostly everyone else was coming for dinner. Vision was the last one to join, showing up exactly at 5 as you were explaining to Steve that the team usually ate buffet-style. The team started serving themselves as you poured wine in glasses at the table. You made yourself a plate and joined everyone. "How about a toast?" Clint asked, holding up his glass. Everyone raised their glass and Clint continued, "To our Captain and his continued recovery." Glasses clinked and the mood was light. You watched Steve for a reaction. Although he looked a little out of place, it was easy to see he was warming up. You were proud of him, even if you couldn't tell him that.

"I thought it would be nice if everyone told Steve a little bit about themselves," you said and looked at Natasha next to you to start.

The team did as asked and it made you love them more. They each told Steve about themselves and that rolled into funny Steve stories that had everyone laughing. He looked like he had made new friends tonight and your heart felt happy. When everyone had quieted, Steve looked at you and asked, "You're not going to tell me about you?"

"Uhh, yeah... okay..." you said, you could feel your cheeks getting flushed. "I joined the Avengers about two years ago, you recruited me," you looked at him. His face made you momentarily forget what you were saying. "I have training in martial arts and combat, I came up through SHIELD. Phil Coulson recommended me to you."

"Come on, (Y/N), everyone else told him personal things," Clint said. You shot him a quick look and he realized why that would be hard.

"Okay..." you thought for a second. "I like to dance... I grew up not that far from here... I love history and I'm pretty good with pop culture trivia..."

"That's an understatement," Natasha added.

"That's about it," you said to Steve.

"And you have a boyfriend?" he asked innocently.

"Uhh... it's.... it's complicated," you said, looking away.

Natasha thankfully changed the subject and everything was fine after that. It was hard for you to be talkative and join in and Steve must have noticed because when everyone else had left, he hung back with you.

"I hope I didn't upset you by asking about your boyfriend," he said.

"No, it's not your fault. I don't really... have one anymore." It wasn't a lie, it wasn't the truth, it was just... the way it was now.

"I'm sorry," he said, his voice getting deeper. "He must have been a lucky guy, you're really sweet."

"Thanks, he's a good guy," you said, a little sadness in your voice. "Did you have a good time tonight?"

"I did," he smiled. He looked so handsome, it took your breath away. "The team's great, that made me feel right at home. And that was one of my favorite meals, by the way. That was just what I needed."

"Yeah, I thought you'd like the roast... and we do have the best team. We all adore you, you know."

"I wish I could remember all those things we talked about," he said, his brow furrowing.

"Another headache?" you asked.

"Yeah," he sighed softly.

"Why don't I walk you back to your room?" you asked.

He agreed and you walked him back. "It's going to be okay," you said, trying to be reassuring. "And we're here for you, no matter what happens."

"It's not hard to understand why we were.. friends," he said. "I really appreciate everything you're doing."

You nodded at him.

"I think I might look through my things tonight... see if I can piece anything together," he said. "Would you like to stay a little while?"

You looked at his hopeful face. It was a nice offer but looking at him standing there in the shirt you had bought him, your heart was swelling and not being able to kiss him or hug him would be hard. You didn't have it in you to be that strong tonight and you knew it. "Thanks, but... I have some things I have to get done. Catch up with you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, okay," he said. "Goodnight, (Y/N)."

"Goodnight," you said, turning to walk back down the hallway.

You felt the anxiety rise up in you and your stomach churned. This would have been one of those nights that Steve would have turned on music and slow danced with you, to calm your nerves.

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