There's Someone I'm Waiting For (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Chapter 5 - Crumbling

|   Pick your chin up, girl.   |

A few more days had come and gone, things were feeling as normal as they could, given the circumstances. Steve was trying to find himself, he was trying to fit in, you were trying to help him. The rest of the team was very supportive. Natasha took over as temporary captain as they'd always discussed she would if it was ever necessary. She'd come to you and pointed out that you hadn't been around the team much and she understood but that you really needed to get back to normal and get back to your workouts. She did what Steve would have done and you knew that. You couldn't hold it against her. You'd only stayed away because being around everyone was hard, they all wanted to be comforting to you. You couldn't handle anymore pity and you were beginning to tire of rehashing all the sad details. It was easy for you to see that you were pulling away from the team.

That day, you went to the gym to lift weights. With your headphones on, you pumped your muscles as hard as you could. It was a different feeling than sadness and that was a welcome feeling. You and Steve normally worked out together but you were sitting in an empty gym now, holding it together without him. Every song that came on your mp3 player reminded you of looking over at him during a workout and watching him put everything he had into his workout until he felt your eyes on him and looked over, smiling at you.

You sat up on the weight bench and swung your legs over to one side, reaching down to pick up your water bottle. Sadness washed over you in an overwhelming way and when you heard the gym doors open, you didn't look up. Whoever it was, you didn't want them to see your face.

"Just the girl I've been looking for," said a deep voice.

"Sam!" you shouted as you looked up. "I'm so glad to see you," you said, wiping yourself with a towel so you could hug him. He reached you first and sat down on the bench next to you, wrapping an arm around you.

"How are you doing, sweetie?" he asked, looking down at you.

"Oh, Sam," you said, and as the words came out, your eyes started to sting. You put your head down on his shoulder. He brought his other arm around you and held you there. "Let it out, baby. You've been strong. They told me how strong you've been. But you can let it out with me."

The tears started flowing and your breath was ragged, it turned to sobs. "I miss him... he's here but... he's not here."

Sam pulled his arms tighter around you. "I know, you've been very brave."

"He's not showing improvement," you said. "What if it's..." and you couldn't even finish, you just cried and cried.

"I hope not. We'll find a way, we're not going to give up on him," he reassured you. "And who's to say he can't fall in love with you all over again anyway?"

"He doesn't know," you said cryptically. "We haven't told him."

"He doesn't know about you?" Sam asked, his face filled with concern.

You shook your head. "He's still in love with Peggy, how can I tell him? He thinks we're just friends."

Sam pulled you back to look at you. "I'm sorry, honey. I really am. And I am sorry I couldn't be here sooner."

"I know, Sam. He doesn't know Bucky's alive either." You pursed your lips tight and willed them to turn up into a smile.

"I'm going to go see him now," Sam said. "You want to come with?"

"I've been crying, it's not a good time... I don't think," you said. "He'll ask what's wrong... I feel like I'm running out of things to say."

Sam walked with you until you got to the hallway with the bedrooms and you went your separate ways. It was good to have him back, you had a little more support now.