𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐇𝐈𝐌

T W E N T Y

The sheer bliss of adrenaline happens in spurts at a time. The heart will speed up or stop for just a moment upon feeling surprised, shocked, scared, excited, which sends a signal to the brain to clarify that the situation upon hand is giving the individual these everlasting emotions.

It's seen to be exhilarating and something that makes a moment worth while. The transient feeling passes upon a second more of existence, but the lingering reaction stimulates in the brain, reminding the individual of the situation and the result of it. The outcome of it that would be oh-so unpredictable.

He finds himself spluttering with shock, finding the continuous knocks startling and intruding on his internal moments of grief. He stumbles and sets his phone down on the down comforter on his bed, the warmth insulator being wrinkled and embedded with the creases of over usage. He doesn't think much of it as the device sinks into the bed and is left alone without a trace.

He exits his room quite messily, an everlasting headache pounding the temples of his cranium which causes him to lose coordination in his steps. He's disoriented and confused, unsure of the unwanted company that stands on his doorstep. He tries to listen for a heartbeat but his mind is somewhere else. He can't focus for more than four seconds at a time which makes him the dumbest person he could think of.

He's alone today. His father has an urgent meeting by the shore of California, telling his son that he would be back Sunday night, leaving the teenage boy the weekend to himself to swallow himself in his own disgruntled life. He's somewhat relieved of this, though, because the last thing he wants his father to know was that he's distraught and humiliated because of a boy. He wasn't sure of his father's views on same sex relationships, and he doesn't want to elicit anything negative hence the reason he is keeping his thoughts bottled up.

He almost ignores the knocking. By now it's become a nuisance and now he's annoyed rather than curious. But something tells him to walk down the stairs and face whoever is behind the door. It's someone with urgency, apparently, because the forceful knocks do not stop with any hesitation. He's so rattled at this point that he marches down the stairs in a heap of tumbles and curses, wiping his damp cheeks to remove any evidence of vulnerability.

Liam hesitates. His hand is nearing the bronze door knob but it stops inches away. He's close enough to hear the heartbeat of the person just inches away from him, the only thing separating them being a door. He recognizes that familiarity of the rhythmic beat, another moment passing him with euphoric hesitation. He almost wants to step away and hide, but he can't.

The person behind the door stops knocking, sensing a presence. He most likely hears Liam's heartbeat, signaling that he heard his urgencies and came to see what the commotion was.

Liam waits a moment.

They both stand in silence, refuting the idea of taking flight and turning away from what needed to be fixed. Thoughts flood through their heads, analyzing the situation and thinking about the outcome. Will it conclude with blitheness or humiliation? Neither know. And they aren't too keen on finding out the bitterness of it.

He wants to cry once again. The nostalgic feelings of humiliation and pain rage through his veins and remind him of the things he said and the things he did. The guilt ridden emotions he feels are drowning him, hating confrontation in anything of this fashion. He's already told Theo he likes him, so there really isn't a U-Turn option at the moment. He's stuck on the one way road, driving down a straight road just to be clashed in traffic.

"C'mon, Liam, I know you're there."

He closes his eyes for a brief moment, a pallid expression taking a toll on his blotchy face, making his features look ill and pale. He's incompetent for a moment, but his endurance has been up for so long, and now wasn't the time to rip down that wall. He's been putting up the facade for so long of a pretend love, a relationship that lasted almost a month. A month of nonstop texts, calls, jokes, memories. And here he is. Feeling all these emotions that he doesn't know how to deal with.