if i believe you | negan

chapter xiii.

I WOKE up to Negan howling through the hallway and barging into my room.

"Wake up, sweetheart! We're going on a little field trip," He called out, ripping the comforter off of me. I glared at him, but he only grinned. "Get dressed, we're leaving in fifteen."

I slowly rose from bed as he left, shutting the door behind him. I pulled myself out of bed and headed for the bathroom before grabbing any clothes, my bladder feeling like it was going to explode. I quickly brushed my teeth and combed my hair, making my way to the dresser to sift through the maternity clothing Negan and I had found a month ago.

I settled for the gray lounge pants and an oversized navy blue long-sleeved shirt before slipping on Negan's extra pair of boots and making my way to the supply trucks. Negan's men were gathered around him as he spoke, naturally wielding Lucille on his dominant shoulder.

It was a little chilly as the oncoming spring brought a few gusts of wind, the newly growing leaves rustling as the birds sang their songs. I rubbed my arms, feeling the goosebumps underneath the thin fabric of clothing. Negan walked towards me as he finished his speech, sporting his usual leather jacket and red scarf.

"Little chilly, don't you think?" He asked, noticing the way I was trying to keep warm. I only nodded, realizing that I couldn't speak through chattering teeth. He whispered something to Simon as he walked by and told me to wait.

"Found this the other day when we went out, thought it would suit you," Negan said, handing me a leather jacket just like his own. I took the jacket and felt the interior, the lining was thick and suitable for the current weather. "Well, try it on."

I slipped my arms through the sleeves and pulled it around my body. It would've been a perfect fit had I not been six months pregnant, but I kept it on. It shielded the wind and kept my arms warm, plus I looked like a total badass.

"Thank you, Negan." I said sincerely. He opened the truck door and I hopped in, him shortly joining me in the driver's seat. Before we drove off, he opened the glove compartment by my feet and pulled out a towel that was wrapped around something.

"I also grabbed you some food," He handed me the towel and I unwrapped it; an apple, banana, and muffin sitting there waiting to be eaten. "I knew you'd be hungry when you woke up, but I didn't want to wake you up early so I figured I'd bring you some for the drive."

I was in shock. The man I feared mere months ago was grabbing me food and letting me sleep in. It was like a switch had flipped and all of a sudden, he had a heart. And his voice was kind. There was no sense of power or sensuality, just kindness.

"Negan, do you-" I asked, his head turning towards me as I called him. I wanted so desperately to know if, even the slightest bit, he cared for me. I didn't want to get my hopes up in case he denied it, but I felt it necessary to ask again. Even if it crushed me. "Do you care about me?"

I didn't want to look at him. I didn't want to see his character change in a negative way, but what if it changed in a positive way? I didn't want to miss that.

I looked at him.

But there was no positive change. The muscles in his face tensed and he kept his focus on the road. There was no emotion tied to him, it was like his soul had left his body and all that was left were his bones.