DOUBT

Chapter 5 - Can Let In.

Can't Let In

I remember when I was a kid, someone called me a non-Muslim because I didn't know what Kunday was. I thought you need to take Shahada to be a Muslim but people have a very different way of presenting their sentiments, which by the way are attached to some rituals, be it they are just cultural or something that shows the representation of Islamic values when Islam in reality, never approved of them. Whether it's that mirror-stare contest we did some time back or the Rukhsati my mother is panicking about right now.

I have been living in a diverse and multicultural environment long enough to call out things, which are nothing but innovations in a religious context. Rukhsati, literal meaning from Wikipedia, 'sending off' is one of those innovations. Due to living in States for this long, I took the opportunity to analyze the false or additional editions of the religion I follow because let's face it, you will not be taught about this in schools here nor the American society promotes religion as much as it promotes cooperate society. Actually, religion in general does not have a very important place in America, to begin with, but it does appreciate diversity for all the political and not so political reasons. So, I used exactly that. The opportunity I used was the diversity of our small Muslim community here to learn and figure out where are we wrong.

Coincidentally, there are a lot of Muslims from around the world that have been settled here since a long time, specifically where I am and the funny thing is, they brought their culture with them in the name of 'their' traditional part of the religion and I have multiple examples depending upon the situation, which can prove it's nothing but Bid'ah that they have been doing almost all their lives. Let's consider marriage at the moment seeing the current circumstances.

Example number #1 in Arabic culture they add a bachelor's night kind of a thing called Sahrah in which the groom and his friends have a night out before the wedding. Women are not allowed to be a part of it and in strict religious families, this is the only way outside men can join the celebration.

Example #2, Chinese Muslim weddings are performed the same way the Chinese wedding is but without the Chinese religious rituals.

Example #3 in Turkish culture, I do not know why but there is a sort of bond between red ribbons and weddings. Like during the mini wedding/engagement, the couple has to put on rings on each other and at times it's done by someone else but the rings are tied together by a red ribbon that will be cut down by a witness. Again, the red ribbon is worn by the bride on her wedding dress to show her chastity. In other words, saying that she is a virgin.

So, here's the thing, I respect culture but people like to force it on like it's a religious obligation on the bride and groom or on a larger scale, on each person, which to me is not fair. Allah made marriage simple and practically cost-efficient. All of the examples with Rukhsati included are not a part of Islamic values. They are either an end-up of the tribal traditions or religious diversity and none of them hold any kind of importance if Islam itself is considered.

It's not Pakistani Muslims or Indian Muslims that are just at fault. It's every single person's fault out there who thinks it's easy to innovate in the name of fun and joy or societal pressure's sake but they do not realize how much of an effect these sorts of mistakes are causing on our next generation. They are not only misinformed but also confused. People make things hard. A simple thing like marriage has been complicated to a point that people rather date or live-in instead of getting married. Then people ask why the divorce rate is high or haram relations are common.

I was not happy with the idea that my leaving part of marriage should be given a name and glorified like something very prestigious. I am going, right? Why does one have to name it and celebrate it like I am being reborn? And besides, I am moving just 4 blocks away. I don't have issues if someone wants an extra set of celebrations in their wedding but naming or highlighting traditional norms as religious ones is wrong, highly wrong.