anxiety.

four.

"you are an artist and your heart is your masterpiece. and i'll keep it safe."

mason.

we spent the past hour and a half talking about just her. i wanted to get to know her even more but it was enough for now. i learned her favorite color is mahogany and she wants more than anything to travel to amsterdam. but with every ounce of good of her she told me about, there was bad.

her anxiety was way worse that i thought. she told me that she doesn't sleep much at night anymore because her anxiety keeps her up. she told me about how she's tried to get help but her parents don't believe her. it broke my heart when she told me about how she used to be outgoing and energetic as a child but then after she her anxiety came along she became real quiet. her grades are even dropping because of how out of control it's gotten.

i gave her my number and told her not to hesitate if she ever needs me. i'm not gonna let it keep spiraling out of control from now on. i'm gonna be there for her. i drove her home after she reminded me that it was getting late and she had homework to get done. i could've stayed there and talked to her forever but there will be other times.

i parked my car and opened the front door of my home. it was no secret i lived in the wealthiest part of my town. my dad's a world renowned pediatric surgeon and travels a lot to help kids in different parts of the world. my mom works high up for vogue magazine. her job is cool but i don't know much about it. together they're income is quite plentiful. having the money is nice, but sometimes it's the first thing people see when they meet me. there's more to me than that, i'm not some snobby rich boy.

it's just the four of us in our home, including me. i have a little sister, skylar. she's only 13 but she's probably the most mature of our entire household. she's definitely taking after my mom with the fashion thing. it's all she talks about sometimes.

i hear my mom call my name from the kitchen and i sit down at the counter to greet her. she glances at the clock.

"you're home a little later than usual. how was school, honey?" she smiles.

"it was.. school but good i guess. and oh, i was with scarlett. it was important, i'm so sorry. i should've texted you."

"no no it's fine. i was just curious about your whereabouts... scarlett?"

"she's just a some girl mom." i say, not wanting to continue on with the rest of the conversation.

"just some girl... surrreee." my mom teases in the distance. i laugh, shaking it off.

i head upstairs to my room and sit on my bed, staring at the ceiling. i kept thinking about how i could forever get lost in those chocolate brown eyes. she was perfect, god i wish she knew that. i didn't find her anxiety pushing me away, if anything it made me love her more. it made her real and human, nothing like the other girls who try to talk to me. my thoughts get interrupted by the creak of my door and skylar walking in.

she plops down beside me on my bed, burying her face into my pillow. "everything okay sky?" i say placing my hand on her lower back, gently drawing shapes. i hear muffled tears coming from her.

"hey whats wrong?" i ask softly, pulling her closely into my body. she rested her head on my chest. i didn't have to ask though, i knew already.

"anxiety attack." that's right, she has bad anxiety too. it started when she was in 5th grade and it's been that way ever since. she's always been too scared to tell our parents in fear that they'll think she's crazy so she comes to me. i don't mind helping her out, she is my sister after all. i care about her.

i believe she's the reason i have an overwhelming desire to help scarlett. scarlett reminds me of her and every time i see scarlett, and her dark brown hair and matching chocolate eyes, i know i can't let her suffer. i wouldn't let sky suffer now but i almost did.

skylar's anxiety got really bad last year. she was anxious all the time and always ended up in my room at night. one night she never came in and when i went to check on her, she had a bottle of pills in her hand. i'll never forget that day. she was shaking and crying so badly, in all her bad days i had never seen her like that. she told me she couldn't do it anymore and wanted her anxiety to stop. i don't know what would of happened if i never decided to check up on her, she probably wouldn't be here today. i can't let that happen to scarlett.

i placed my hand over her heart, checking up on it. her heart was beating a mile a minute. i get worried about it sometimes, my dad once telling me about a patient he had who fainted in front of him because of their anxiety. he said that it happens because your brain exerts so much energy and needs more blood but your heart can't supply it. i can't have her faint on me because then she'd need medical help and i know how that scares her. i made a promise i'd protect her, that i'd keep her safe.

"your heart's racing very fast. c'mon that's no good, relax a little love, you know you're safe with me." i whisper in her ear, kissing the top of her hair.

"i'm sorry mason. i dont have much control over it." she says quietly.

" don't apologize sky. i understand, but it's not great for your heart. just try your best to slow it down. we can sit here for as long as we need to. breathe."

i let her lay in my lap until she fully calmed down. it took a little while, but i don't mind. i let her go, giving her some space to sit by herself. she lays on her side and looks at me.

"if it gets bad again, you're gonna have to tell mom and dad you know." i say breaking the silence.

" you can't. i'm not crazy." she replied.

"i never said you were, but being mentally healthy is just important as being physically healthy." she nods in agreement, but i can tell the thought of it worries her.

"i'm scared mason. what if something bad happens to me?"

"you don't have to be scared. they love you and telling them you have anxiety isn't going to change that. they aren't any different from me, they'll help you sky. but they'll get you real help. i can help calm you down, but i can't cure whatever is going on up there." i add, pointing to her brain.

"i'm not comfortable with anyone else. it's not easy to talk about, i feel crazy. none of my friends have anxiety, i'm the odd one out."

"you know, i met a girl just like you at school today."

"really?" she pops up. "what's she like?"

"her names scarlett and she has the darkest brown hair and most beautiful chocolate eyes to match it. she's gorgeous and one of the smartest girls i've ever met. but she has terrible anxiety just like you and she freaks out about the little things just like you. hers might even be a little worse. except, her parents don't believe her anxiety is real. i'm gonna help her though, just like i do with you."

"she sounds amazing but... her parents don't believe her?" she asks in horror.

"no, not at all. so there's no help available to her and it sucks because she's the sweetest person ever. she deserves so much more."

"you sound like you're really in love with this girl mason." she smirks.

"i just might be."

-

a/n

meet skylar block, one of the many reasons mason has taken such an interest in our main girl, scarlett.