anxiety.

thirty-five.

"i want to love you, but i don't know how."

scarlett.

"mason." i repeated softly under my breath. he was not the person i expected to run into today.

he looked much worse than i envisioned him being. he dressed in a pair of baggy, grey sweatpants and what appeared to be an old university tee. his hair rested messily on top of his head with a few curls almost touching the low bags under his eyes. it would be wrong of me to pretend that i didn't find it slightly adorable though, even with my growing discontent for him. the silence between us was awkward.

he scratched the back of his head, "i- uh, what are you um doing here?"

i crossed my arms over my chest at the sudden coldness of the hallway, looking up to see we stopped right under an air vent. my teeth chattered a tiny bit, "i had therapy."

something in his facial expression changed - it lit up. his face radiated at the fact that i was continuing to take care of my mental health in the absence of our relationship. it almost repulsed me that he looked so delighted to hear that like i was his child. the apples of his cheeks earned a bit of pink pigment from their initial pale white stage upon first seeing me. he lightly smiled, "that's really good, i'm proud of you."

'i'm proud of you' those words used to give me a warm, fuzzy tingling sensation inside but now they were meaningless. i could almost forget that he even said it, but i was never the rude type. i rocked back on my heels,

"thank you." i shortly stated looking to the end of the hallway, hoping he would notice by discomfort and end the conversation soon. my grip on my bag got tighter to contain my nervousness and anger.

"look i'm really sorry scarlett." he apologized, attempting to grab my elbow but i pulled back with enough force to hit the cart behind me. a couple of gauze and medical tool packages fell off onto the marble floor with a clang, causing a loud disruption that caught the nurse's attention.

"don't touch me!" i shrieked as i stumbled, gravitating even more attention to ourselves. his eyes instantly drooped down at my distrust for him. i'm not sure where that outburst came from, but all i knew is that his touch burned in a bad way.

he immediately took a step back with his hands up in surrender, "okay. i'm sorry."

my leg nervously bounced up and down as i looked around the halls. i tried my hardest not to let a tear slip. i choked up as i tried to speak, "wh -at do you want mason?"

"what i did was wrong and i realize that. i really am sorry." he attempted again with his hands fully immersed in his pockets.

"you're just realizing that now?" i retorted with a sneer. my tiny voice tried to sound big and mighty. he visibly gulped, "and all you have to say is i'm sorry?"

mason looked nervous, like a bead of sweat was forming at the top of his forehead. he was at a loss of words and wasting my time so i started to walk away. "scar!" he called out after me.

i turned around abruptly, almost causing a collision with the speed at which he chased me. my teeth clenched, "do not call me that!"

"would you at least stay and hear me out?" he begged, infuriating me to a new level of anger.

"stay for you? you want me to wait for you to give me an explanation when you couldn't wait for mine? while you screamed at me in the hallway for no reason and humiliated me in front of everybody? what? did you finally realize that i was telling the truth and would never cheat on you? i don't want to stay here and listen to you, mason. i don't want anything to do with you!" i exploded, tears freely flowing at this point. i lightly pushed his chest away from me and stormed out, magically finding my way back to the main entrance.