dear bully • hannie and jenzie

26 ➸ confessions

Annie Leblanc
25 December 2017

•••

I'm walking home when it starts to snow, drizzling around me in sheets of perfection. The flakes capture the light from the escaping sun, and the birdsong leaves me enthralled.

Today, I've really make a breakthrough, and discovered that there really are things to live for; things that I want to do with my life. I've realised that I can't let other people dictate how I feel, and gifting those letters to Mackenzie was a small step in a long journey.

I return home, kicking off my boots and walking loudly down the hall.

"I'm home!" I start to yell, before noticing that my Mother and Father are sitting at the table, just talking. Hayley is nowhere in sight.

My parents look up, and Mum gestures to me to come. Gingerly, I take a few steps towards them.

"Sit down." She says warmly, but my heart starts beating all the same. The wooden chair creaks as I pull it out and sit.

"Annie-" My father starts, but my Mum rests a hand on his, halting him.

"What?" I question frantically. "What's going on?"

Mum clears her throat. "Since it's Christmas, and new beginnings and all that... we want to apologise to you."

This can't be happening.

"When your brother died-" She tries to say.

"No, honey I've got this." Dad interrupts with eyes full of tears. I look between them in confusion. "When Caleb died, your Mum fell into a state of depression... and I guess I did too. We definitely haven't been role models to you or Hayley, and hun, we're sorry."

Tears pool in my eyes, and I brush them away profusely. Mum clears her throat before she tries again.

"In the new year... can we start over? Can we make sure that we're a family again; full of laughter, and fun?"

"Mum." I say, giving a little smile through my tears. "Of course we can."

Dad fully breaks down then, and my Mum pulls him out of the chair. They cling together, finding a safety net in each others sadness. I jump up, running around the table and circling my hands around them.

"I'm so sorry honey, so sorry." Mum cries, brushing hair out of my face and wiping tears out of my eyes. "We've been the worst parents in the world."

"Annie?" We hear Hayley's voice speak up after a while. "Are you okay Annie?"

"I'm fine." I hiccup, and we all laugh a little at one of our oldest family jokes. Caleb made it up, in the summer he was obsessed with Michael Jackson. "Come here you munchkin!"

She runs into my outstretched arms, and I twirl her up so she rests on my hip.

"We wouldn't trade you girls for the world." Mum whispers happily. "You know that right?"

Hayley and I share a glance.

"We know."

•••

[613 words]