Don't Leave

Chapter 30

Nick's POV

"You talk to her?* I asked as Liv strolled into the room.
"Yeah"
"And?" I questioned.
"Maybe we should talk in my office"
I looked around and saw just about everyone was ease dropping.
"You too Fin"
We followed her into her office closing the door behind us. You could immediately pick up that Liv was hesitant to talk.
"Amanda, right now I think is having a difficult time figuring out what is real and what's fake or a dream."
"What do you mean?" I asked.
She told me everything that Amanda told her.
"She knows they were dreams right?"
I was really hoping the answer was yes. I couldn't imagine her really believing I would do something like that.
Liv sighed meaning no.
"Dammit why would she think I'd do that?!"
"It's not just you Nick it's all of us. I mean for God's sake every besides us has been treating her like shit."
"What?" We never did tell Fin about what had been going on with Amanda when she was at work.
"People here at the predict have just been awful. Harassing her and worse." I left it at that.
"Who?" He asked.
"She won't say, we've tried and tried, but she refuses to give names." Liv said.
"So what we're just gonna let them get away with it?"
"There's nothing we can do right now. Not until Amanda wants us to."
Fin was upset. We all were. It seemed now we were the only ones still on Amanda's side.

At around 2 I stopped at home to check on Amanda what Liv told me still burning in my head.
"Amanda?" I called out.
She was in the kitchen.
"I did the dishes, we ran out of dish soap so I used some hand soap, I hope that alright." she said as I walked in.
"Yeah that's fine, you really didn't need to do that."
She stood there continuing to dry the dishes.
"I also put a load of laundry in the wash." She said.
"Come sit down with me for a second." I told her.
We sat on the sofa. This had become the place for all deep and emotional conversations.
"Amanda I want to talk about what happened last night."
"Nothing happened last night." She quickly said.
"I know that's not true, now Liv told me.." I began.
"She told you?"
"Yes, she said.." She cut me off again.
"I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said anything, but I swear she didn't believe me anyways."
"No, Amanda I'm the one who sent her over here. I knew you wouldn't talk to me so I asked her to talk to you."
"There's nothing to talk about." She argued.
"Look I just want to make sure you know nothing you think I said or did last night happened. You know I'd never lay a hand on you."
She looked down at her feet.
"I don't want you afraid. And I definitely don't want you to be afraid of me."
She stayed quiet. Thinking. The buzzer on the washer went off. She stood up to get up.
"I got it."
She sat back down.
"Can I take a shower?" She asked.
"Of course. You didn't need to ask."
She went to the bathroom without saying another word.

Amanda's POV

I stared in the mirror at myself. For once in a long time I didn't see a bruise on my face or a hand mark on my cheek. I put my hand to my cheek. Nothing, not a single mark. I got in shower and let the hot water drench me. The scars all over my back and stomach remain easily visible along with my burnt hands and feet. These would never go away.
I let the water run for several minutes then I gave in. I cried and cried and cried. Suddenly the hot water became eerily familiar. I panicked and backed away from the running water only to loose my footing and slipped. Fear rushed through my body.
"Nobody is going to help you."
"Shut up!" I yelled at the voice.
"Just shut up and enjoy it."
"No! Leave me alone!!"
"Amanda?!" I heard a voice say.
There was some noise but the voices blocked it out.
"You know you enjoyed it. Why else would you stay?"
"No I didn't!" I tried arguing.
I felt something draped over me. Something was being said but I couldn't focus on it.
"You were always a shit detective."

Nick's POV

It had been almost a half an hour since the water started running. It was than I heard the thud followed by yelling and screaming. I rush to the bathroom and can make out the words she screaming.
"Shut up! No, leave me alone!" She screamed.
"Amanda, I'm coming in" I pushed open the door.
She was sitting on the shower floor hand covering her ears.
"No I didn't!" She screamed at nothingness.
I draped a towel over her scarred body.
"Amanda, hey, nobody is here." I whispered calmly as possible.
She stopped screaming and began to calm down. Still staring at the floor she pulled the blanket around her. She looked up at me about to speak, but not saying a word.
After she calmed down more I left to let her get dressed. The visions of her horribly scarred back flashed through my head. I'd never known the extent of her injuries.
She came out moments later and came straight to me hugging me. I held her tight as she cried.
"Why stay with me? I'm insane!" She sobbed.
"No you're not" I tried.
"I can't even take a shower! Why don't you just leave me? For God's sake look at me I look like hell. I'm covered in scars and burns and bruises. You could do so much better."
I pulled her away from me and held her head in my hands.
"You'll get through this. I'm not going anywhere. Now come here."
I brought her to the couch and she remained glued to me.
"Now tell me what happened."
She didn't say anything.
"I can't help you until you tell me what's wrong."
At last she spoke.
"One moment I was showering the next I terrified for some reason. The water was so warm it just it felt like the shower I took that night. It was just water Nick."
That night what exactly was that night
"Still everything from that night came back. Everything. She empathized the everything part.
She sat up and started crying. Through the tears she continued to speak.
"I don't know what happened next. All I know is I fell to the floor. I could hear him yelling at me. I swear to god I felt him on me."
She paused a moment to cry.
"I felt him. It was the same as that first night I came home late." Her voice drifted as her mind went to that night. She curled up and put her hands to her head.
"Why would he do that?! I told him to stop. I hurt so bad afterwards. At work I tried to hide it like he told me to, but he'd still get mad. Every single night."
I was mad at myself more than ever before. Every night I let her go home to that.
I tried to pull back towards me because for some reason I felt like I could protect her from all her fears and from what Jeff did even though I've done a shitty job so far. She refused me. I sat back.
"I thought work was an escape from hell. I was wrong. Nobody believed me in Atlanta why would anyone believe me now?"
She looked at me expecting an answer. I didn't have one. What tell her I believe her? I've tried so many times, but what's one more.
"I believe you. I always did."
She scooted back over by me and laid her head on my shoulder.
"I know" she whispered.