Why Can't You Let Me Be Happy?

Chapter 8

For Scomich3

"What the role of this guy?" Mitch flashed me a card that showed a guy working on a truck. I ran my fingers through Mitch's dark hair. We were having buddy time out by the barn again. It was dark but nice. I had my legs straight in front of me as my crush had his head on my lap. If you could even call him my crush. Over the past four weeks after that wonderful kiss, Mitch and I were together every minute we possibly could.

"He's a mechanic."

"No. He's the top." He pinch my stomach. He flipped to another card that show a man trimming the leaves.

"A top." Mitch sat up with a groan.

"No. See how his tool is big. This guy is a power bottom."

"How do you know all this?" I put my arm around his shoulders as he rested his head against my chest.

"A tool that big has to make up for something. Why give when there's nothing to give?" I crossed my ankles over each other.

"Are you a power bottom?" He pulled away with a raised eyebrow. I looked down at my hands. He laughed at the blush forming on my cheeks.

"Yes. But that doesn't necessarily mean I'm lacking anything. I could have an eighteen inch penis and still be a power bottom." I chuckled at his over exaggeration. Suddenly he frowned.

"Hey. What's wrong?" I held his hands in mine.

"Are you a virgin Scott?"

"No. Why would-" His shy posture have him away. He talked big but in reality, he was a virgin. "But I thought you-"

"I was too nervous. I was only sixteen then." Wow. Mitch was only seventeen now. I always thought that he was older than me. He was younger. I squeezed his hand reassuringly.

"You're my first time ever being with a guy. We'll both be new at it." The warning bell sounded above us. We had five minutes to get back to the rooms before the doors were automatically locked and the people left out were punished. We dusted each other off and began heading back hand in hand. Once we got in view of Seth and Sister Anne though, we had to let go. My hand was missing his, begging for the warmth to return in the cool night air.

"Cards?" Mitch handed the stack to Sister Anne. She wrapped her bony fingers his wrist, pulling him closer. She moved the collar of his jacket out of the way. "What are these?" She poked at the hickeys underneath his jaw.

"Love bites." Her jaw tightened. "From that little machine you gave me." She seemed pleased with his answer and shove the two of us inside.

"That was close. I thought you covered those." He ran his fingers over the marks.

"The make up must have came off during our most recent session." He pushed me inside a janitors closet after looking around. I could only feel his breath on my lips as the darkness surrounded us.

"Mitch. We could get caught."

"We have thirty minutes to do as we please. Trust me. I've been stuck in this hell hole for a year." He pulled me down for a kiss but I didn't kiss back. I wonder how many other boys he did this with. Played with them until he could capture them with his sassy charm. "What's wrong?"

"How many other boys have-"

"You're the only one." His hand was resting on the side of my neck. "Everyone else during the other times were boring. You caught my attention though. The first time I met you." He laughed at his memory. "You insisted on being straight but your body language was proving you wrong. At first I wanted to play with you. I ended up liking you."

"Mitch...." He opened the door and led us both out.

"That enough seriousness for the day. I'm sleepy." He stretched his arms above his head. We walked back to our shared bedrooms and he began walking towards the changing room. Todrick and Travis were probably in the bathroom or something.

I closed my eyes as soon as it was lights out. I knew I wasn't going to fall asleep though. Why would Mitch bring up the fact that he's never been with someone? I didn't need to know. We had gotten closer the past few weeks and with it getting closer to the program graduation, I've noticed his movements becoming desperate. I think the most noticeable was when he kept putting my hands underneath his clothes.

"Scott?" Mitch shook my shoulder, keeping his voice quiet. I pretended to be asleep. "I know you're awake. You aren't snoring."

"I don't snore." I sat up in my bed.

"I know. But I got you up." He had a triumphed smile on his face. "I want to show you something." I didn't argue when he tugged me out of the bed. We crept pass Seth's room, which just like Mitch said, had a lot of noises coming through the cracks. Mitch picked the security lock like a pro and we were out the front door.

"Where are we going?" The dew dampened the bottoms of my sweatpants as we walked through the grass. I looked at our clasped hands glowing with the moonlight.

"Somewhere special." We didn't talk anymore. We just walked in silence to the middle of an empty field with one giant tree. He pulled a blanket out from the hallowed trunk and spread it across the ground. We both sat down, our hands touching as we propped ourselves up and our legs stretch in front of us.

"Why is this special?"

"No one can judge you here. It doesn't matter who you love or what you dream." He pointed where the One Way house was only a mile away. "Over there, we are a disease. But out here, in the real world, we can be how we were truly meant to live. As ourselves." He brought his knees to his chest and rested his chin on top to look at the stars.

"That was deep." I was expecting a sex joke to come out of that but he just smile at me.

"I think I've fallen for you Scott."

"Really?" He nodded.

"Yeah goofball." I pressed my lips against his. I lowered him onto his back and placed myself between his legs. I bit down on his soft skin under his jaw. He gasped quietly. I felt the bottom of my shirt get pulled. We got rid of our shirt and I let my eyes drift over his body. His arms tried to cover his chest.

"You're gorgeous."

"I feel like I'm not beautiful enough for you." I shook my head, kissing his cheek. I pressed my cold lips against the warm skin on his chest. His fingers threaded through my hair. He tilted my chin up to kiss me. To say that my heart wasn't trying to burst out of my chest would be lying. I bet Mitch could feel it. I could feel his and it was trying to break past his skin.

"Mitch.... What are we doing?" His eyes were cloud with undeniable lust. "I don't-"

"I trust you." His hands drifted along my chest, bring goosebumps in their wake. "Enough to run away with you." He was chewing on his bottom lip. His eyes were looking straight into mine. "At the graduation, I'm going to tell my parents that I want to be with you and I don't care that I lose my money. I'm in love with you." My grin was going wider with his every word.

"And I'll be right there with you." I lowered my lips to his ear. "I love you too."