Chapter 29: B-R-O-K-E-N✔️

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Because of the comments and votes I got in the last chapter, I decided to update in less than a week. Yaaaayy!!! . Last chapter got the highest comments thanks to NieemarhCocoMeena Aeshatu18  Asmaaah_ cookie_bender and my other wonderful readers.

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I counted the ceiling squares in my candle lit room again and again. The room was so dim but what do I expect?  The only source of light in the entire room came from one miserable looking candle. I rolled over to the other side of the bed and started playing with the candle lazily. Nothing in this life interested me anymore. I had become quite indifferent to everything around me. I reached for my phone and put on the flashlight. I started walking to the bathroom on the other side of the building, coming across a mirror on the way. You know that myth about looking at the mirror at night? I hurriedly passed the mirror without looking at it. Afraid that if I dare look, I might see a jinn. When I went into the bathroom I couldn't even use it. There were so many insects inside. That was how I came back and stumbled into the very uncomfortable bed. My very uncomfortable bed, for the mean time anyway.

I started playing four pics 1 word on my phone. I suck at it but I had nothing else to do. I know you're probably wondering how I still had my phone with me or how I was still alive. After hours of tossing and turning I finally fell asleep. That was what had been happening for the past two weeks. I couldn't sleep till after hours and hours of laying on the bed. Well who could in this God forsaken bed. Let's not talk about the things going on in my head.

I woke up with a head and back ache. It wasn't easy sleeping on this bed. I changed from my pajamas into a long atampa dress and put on some deodorant. I just didn't like using the old rustic bathroom. And in this early morning I had no intention of taking water from the well. I looked at my pale face, red eyes and cracked lips in the broken mirror before heading outside.

I met Kakani in her small living room eating her dumamen tuwo. She offered it to me but I refused to take it. She asked whether I would like to eat indomie or chips but I shook my head again. For the past few days I lost my appetite. I made half a cup of tea, sat down at the corner of the room and as usual zoned out thinking about my life.

"Drink your tea before it gets cold," It was Kakani that brought me out of my thoughts. I took a sip but it tasted so bitter. Not like the tea I used to have at home. What could be wrong with this one? It was the same lipton. The same peak milk and the same sugar but it just tasted different.

"Tomorrow is Sunday," Kakani stated. I nodded my head indicating I know. Well who wouldn't? Tomorrow is the day my family would visit. I had been counting down to this day since the day I came here. I came on a Monday so tomorrow will be the first day I will see them.

"Are you okay?"She asked again and I nodded my head. Both she and I knew I wasn't. But that's just how it was. The answer to an 'are you okay?' is always 'yes I am' whether you are or not. Even though I didn't tell her the real reason why I was here she knew I didn't want to meet Mama and my siblings.

I resumed drinking my tea with my heart beating fast wondering what would happen when they come tomorrow. I drank half of the tea and left the rest as I had lost my appetite for it. I was about to walk out of the room and lock myself in my room like I usually did when Kakani called me.

"Hameeda you can't stay like this forever. Without eating, talking or doing anything at all. You can kill yourself. Please at least eat something. I still don't know exactly what is wrong with you .I don't know how bad whatever you are going through is but please I hate seeing you like this. It breaks my heart. Go back to your old ways, I miss my old Hauwa'u that use to tease me endlessly and eat all my kayan dadi." I looked at my grandmother with tears in my eyes. I had so much to say to her but all that came out of my mouth was, "In sha Allah Kakani". With a fake smile I left the room. I went back to my room and did the one thing I enjoyed doing the most these past few days. I cried my eyes out.

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