Golden Boy

N I N E - T E E N

Dave cornered me in the halls after the last bell rang for the day. He looked sober for the first time and a bit concerned as he trapped me by my locker. "What's this I hear about you being in a relationship with Jace?"

"It's nothing really," I waved him off. "We are mostly friends."

"So why does the whole school think you are his girlfriend?"

"Because people like to talk and make a big deal out of everything." I ducked my head back into my locker to hide my face from Dave. I recently learned that I'm not as good at hiding my emotions as I always thought I was, and I was afraid he would see that I wasn't telling the whole truth.

In fact, I wasn't sure what I should be saying to Cami and Dave. They clearly heard the very believable rumors, which I can't deny because I am wearing Jace's clothes and people know that as a fact. What other explanation can I give for that, other than saying that we are hooking up? I still have to sit down and decide if it is even smart to say that Jace and I are dating or if we should just let the rumor die off and ignore each other as much as we can in the halls. 

"So you aren't dating."

"No," I said through my teeth, unsure of what lie I should try saying now. 

A hand landed on my forearm forcing me to spin around. A fuming Cami stood opposite of me, eyes glaring, and mouth turned down in a frown. "So you're keeping secrets from me, your best friend? Why didn't you tell me you were dating Jace?"

"I'm not keeping secrets from you and I'm not in a relationship with Jace. We're just friends."

"See! You are keeping secrets because when the hell did you become friends with Golden Boy? Why didn't you tell me?"

"It sort of just happened. We hung out a bit on Saturday when I woke up at his house after the party and that's it. He let me borrow some of his clothes so that I would be comfortable. I didn't think I had to release that information."

"We tell each other everything, El. I'm just upset that I had to hear from other people what's going on in your life."

"Yea that's messed up, Elliot," Dave but in from his comfortable spot leaning against the lockers, watching our fight unfold. 

I turned to glare at Dave for inputting his unnecessary opinion. Cami looked genuinely upset and I did feel bad about having to lie to her but it's not like I had a choice. I couldn't exactly tell her all of the shit I've been through since the start of November without giving away one big secret I promised to keep. This was just another consequence of Jace suddenly being a part of my life. Now I have to lie to my family and friends and constantly be looking over my shoulder, wondering if someone was coming after me. 

My life had completely changed yet no one knew and I couldn't be the one to say it. I was forced to deal with these new emotions and dynamics between my friends and family without tipping them off that something was seriously wrong. The last thing I wanted was to accidentally drag one of them into this crazy life. It was a burden I was going to have to live with. 

"Cami, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I don't want to keep any secrets from you, I swear. I'll do better next time."

"It's fine. I just want you to know that you can tell me anything without any judgment. It's the perks of having a best friend," she said, pulling me into a warm hug. I held on tightly. 

I didn't realize how much I just needed a hug. I was isolated in my own world, with no one who would understand what I was going through, alone and afraid to say something, and with my only real company being the people responsible for my isolation in the first place. I missed Cami and even Dave.