Switched By Souls✔️

30: Lost.

"I don't wanna be in this switch anymore," i confessed. I'm literally done, I couldn't handle any pain anymore, the fact that i have to face her, tell her that i indeed loved her, makes it hard for me to pick my pieces up.

"Me neither," i confessed too. I'm done too, i never wanted to be responsible for their pain, I never loved her, how could i stand in front of her with my brother who's really in love with her? I can't imagine her reaction playing in my head.

Crying, weeping, becoming tongue tied, there's a possibility of fainting i don't even know what comes to my mind in situations like these.

"So? Wanna end this?" I curled a fist waiting for his response.

"Let's end this." I curled my fist too, bumping it with Ignatius.

He rubbed my back and i hardly walked on my leg, we entered the elevator, breathing out my last breaths, thinking of what could happen the moment she opens the door, to be greeted by a pair of twins who ruined a part of her life.

Who had her married at 22 years old, who showed her that marriage isn't as sweet as it seems, who showed her that love isn't as cuddly and or welcoming as it sounds. Who ruined her life and made her doubt herself, made her doubt her surroundings, lose communication with her mother and her father, and watch her brother die.

We walked a step forward and two thousand steps backwards, my heart pounded it almost fell off my chest, i can feel Ignatius was stressed or nervous as well, I didn't know why.

He didn't lover her the way i did, he never loved her at all.

He doesn't have that connection that i have with her wether it was knowing each other's little secrets or finishing each other's sentences. Otherwise my existence would've just been a misfortune.

We were standing in front of the door and fear built through me, i wanted to cry and fall on my knees.

I wanted to lose myself but I don't wanna lose her.

My heart is crushed and my mind is having a war with itself.

"Stop.." i breathed, croaking out as tears fell down my cheeks, I should do what i've seen it coming.

Maybe it's never too late, i can sense she wants it, she wants me dead.

Edward hasn't came back yet and he's been distant ever since he came back, i'd be talking to him and he'd turn his back purposely, he'd talk to other women in front of me, purposely. He'd smoke in front of me and when i talk to him, he'd answer with a low voice so I couldn't hear anything, i've never felt weaker than before, maybe because this love was the most powerful of them all.

I've been into relationships, i've loved people before, i've had crushes before, but Edward.. Edward's story is a whole new story. A brand exhaustive maze of misconceptions.

Catching glances at times, reading his books, meeting him in Spain, rejecting his work offer, marrying him afterwards, falling for him even harder, making love with him for the first time, fighting with him. The doubt, the tears, the anger, the fear.

The joy, the kisses, the touches, the lies.

I felt screams of souls behind the front door, i felt the hissing, i felt the emotions.

I leant on the door, leaning my head and resting it, hoping it would fall off my body.

"Stop," this time it was louder, i put my head between my hands, as tears started to fall, i wanted to punch a wall and cause this damned building to fall. I want this roof to fall on my head and be found dead on the news.