Kuroshitsuji Crack!

Never give Alois Poptarts

"CLAUDE LOOK WHAT I HAS!!!" Hannah cheered clearly overjoyed. Hannah held up 2 boxes of S'more poptarts. "Ms. Hannah keep those away from Alois." Claude demanded. "Why? I wanted to share my magic sweets with him." Hannah poubted. She gave Claude the eyes. Being a strong demon he resisted the eyes. "Asshole." Hannah mumbled as she crossed her arms.

Claude smirked at her and raised an eyebrow, "What was that? I couldn't quite hear you." Hannah just stood and grinned nervously, "Uh nothing Claude. I'll just go put these up." Hannah then ran away from the demon. She slowed her pace once she knew he was far from ear shot. "Damn demon ruining my magic food." Hannah grumbled. She kept walking and clearly got bored so she started randomly singing

Soft kitty

Warm kitty

Little ball of fur

Happy kitty

Sleepy kitty

Purr purr purr

Hannah kept repeating the song...that is, until Alois came along. "Shut up!!" he yelled as he hit her. Hannah's eyes grew wide and hit him back. Soon the two were fighting horribly. Hannah grabbed a cherry pie she made appear and threw it at Alois. "EWWWWWW I HATE CHERRY!!" Alois whined. Hannah chuckled darkly but was soon met with a lemon cake to the face. "AHHHH MY EYES!!!" Hannah cried.

The food fight continued for several minutes, that is until Claude showed up and was hit by a chocolate pie. Alois and Hannah froze. "Um heya Claude we were just playing." Hannah smiled nervously. "Haha look at his face!!" Alois cackled. Claude cleaned off his face and soon Hannah was met with a apple pie to the face. "Oh I am quite sorry Ms. Hannah." Claude smirked. "OH HELL YEAH!! IT'S ON SPIDER FUCK!!!" Hannah war cried.

Hannah grabbed a layered cake and chucked it at Claude making it ruin his hair. Alois threw a banana cream pie at Hannah thinking it would hit her but she ate it. "Mmmmmm" Hannah smiled. After awhile everyone had exhausted their dessert stock. "Hehe that was fun." Hannah laughed. Claude stood and bowed, "I will be going to clean up now." "May I come sexy." Hannah winked.

Claude took two steps back, "Um no." Hannah poubted then tackled Alois. "Alois wanna go play piss off Sebastain?" Hannah asked. "No I'm gonna go bother the triplets." he grinned. Hannah got up and ran to the Phantomhive manor.

Hannah crashed into Ceil's office shattering the window. "Oh shit." Hannah freaked. She ran and hid on the bookshelf. Not long after Sebastain appeared and grew extremely pissed. "HANNAH!!! I KNOW YOU ARE HERE DAMN IT!!!" he yelled. Hannah used her fangirl powers to transform into a kitten. She leaped off the shelf and rubbed against Sebastain's leg. "Awwww and who might you be?" he cooed.

"Meow Meow Meow." Hannah said.

Translation: Your worst nightmare

"You're so cute. You look hungry. I better take and get you some milk." Sebastain smiled. Hannah was astonished by the smile Sebastain wore. "Ciel must not be home." she thought. He took her into the kitchen and set her on the counter. "Damn I really need to get out of here. I wants my poptarts." she whined. She clearly didn't know what to do. Hannah waited till he left the room then changed back.

Not long after he came back and froze seeing Hannah. "I sowwy Sebby I forgot about you twelling me not to break glass." Hannah whined. He just hairpalmed and handed her a monster. She cheered and hugged him. "You my demon are my favorite person ever!!" Hannah smiled. Hannah the ran back to get her poptarts.

~~~~~~^@

"What in the world shall I do with her." Sebastain grumbled as he walked to pick up the glass.

~~~~~~^@

Hannah arrived back at the Trancy manor ready to consume her poptarts. She happily skipped to her room and once she got there she cried, "WHO THE FUCK ATE MY BABIES!?" Claude rushed in and seen a depressed fangirl. "Did you put them up?" he asked. Hannah nodded and stood up. "Maybe you misplaced them." Claude sighed. Hannah then burst into tears again. She hugged Claude tightly.

"Resist urge to hug fangirl." he thought. Though demons say they have no emotion...they do. Sometimes they feel sibling love for a human. Even if they will not admit it. In Claude's case...a fangirl. He finally gave in and hugged her. She stiffened at this. "C-Claude?" she stuttered. "Don't tell anyone about this." he hissed. She calmed down and stepped away.

Alois then barged in. "I AM TOO SEXY FOR MY SHORTS!!!" he yelled. He then took them off and ran around. "Uh he goes commando?" Hannah questioned. "You are not disturbed by this?" Claude questioned. "I'm disturbing. Therefore it's not bothering me." Hannah smiled creepily. Claude sighed and dragged Alois over to Hannah. "I believe he was the one who took your poptarts." Claude pointed out.

"No I thought it was the triplets." Hannah frowned, sarcasm dripping from her lips. Alois squirmed out of Claude's grip and ran into the halls.

"I promise you this, I will NEVER give Alois poptarts knowing this will happen." Hannah said to Claude as she rubbed her temples.

She she secretly was crossing her fingers though. Hey!, if ya didn't have a hyper Alois there would be no fun.