I've Always Been Around (Camren)

Chapter 3: Meeting Her

*Camila's P.O.V*

Falling for a straight girl is probably one of the stupidest things I have ever done.  I never knew it could hurt this much.  I wish I could just push all my feelings for Lauren away and just start over.  Dinah insisted that it would probably be a good idea.  She said that she  knew someone she wanted to hook me up with, so I guess I'll give that a try.  Dinah said the girl goes to our school but I didn't know any other lesbians actually went to our high school.  Then again, they could always be as deep in the closet as I am.  Dinah and my family are the only people who know that I like girls.  Although Lauren is my best friend, I've just always been to afraid to lose her to tell her.

I don't want to give up on Lauren and my feelings for her but I know I have to.  It's a hopeless dream that is never going to happen.  I'll forever have to live with "what if's" and "what could have been's".  Lauren forever lingering in my dreams as the person I wish her to be.

It's been almost a week since my run in with Lauren in the music room.  5 days to be exact.  I haven't spoken to my best friend and the girl of my dreams in 5 days.  120 hours.  7,200 minutes. 432,000 seconds. Without her.  I feel like there is this vacancy in my chest that only she can fill.  I don't know if I can fully function without her.  I need her to survive.  Without her I seem to be drowning in my own oxygen, my blood boils at my self loathing.  I can't believe I let how I feel about her get in the way of the relationship I treasured the most.

Seeing as it's Saturday, Dinah insisted I meet this new girl she wants me to start seeing at the diner one town over.  I was grateful for her choice of restaurant because I don't know what I would have done if I was on a date with a girl and ran into someone from my school or even worse: Lauren.

I adjusted my top as Dinah texted me, letting me know she was at my house to drive me to the diner.

Before I knew it I was walking into the building asking for a booth for two.  Dinah was long gone and the nerves were starting to kick in.  "What if she doesn't like me?  What if she doesn't think I'm pretty enough?  What if she hates me?" I fiddled with the hem if my shirt as all these thoughts swam through my brain.  After a moment more, my thoughts are broken by the sound of the bell attached to the door ringing.

There she was.  I recognized her from my social studies class last year.  She's beautiful.  She has long blonde hair and these ice blue eyes that could cut diamonds.  She noticed me and flashed a piercing white, one of a kind smile, making her way over to me.  When she arrived I subtly looked her up and down.  Her skinny jeans hugged her hips, her crop top showed off a bit of her tan, toned stomach.  Her curves were very similar to Laurens but the rest of her looks were almost completely opposite.  Lauren was so ethnic looking, she was the opposite.  She's gorgeous though and I just have to get Lauren out of my head.

I stood and greeted her with a quirky smile as she slid into the booth across from where I was originally seated.  Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at me but she seemed nervous and a little uncomfortable.  I was feeling the same nerves so I totally understood what was probably going through her head.

She cleared her throat and met my gaze, "Hey Camila."

"Hi" my words seemed to get stuck in my throat.

"Baylor." She giggled.

I nodded, "Right, I knew that.  You were in my social studies class last year." I tried to play it off smoothly.

An even bigger smile appeared on her face.  After the awkward hellos conversation flowed freely.  We had so much in common and I instantly felt so comfortable with her and my feelings.  The nerves seemed to have calmed down between both of us.

We shared a milkshake, two straws. I know it's corny but that was Baylor's idea.

She seemed almost too good to be true.  The night fell into this perfect pace. Constant banter between Baylor and I, subtle flirting, our feet occasionally bumping into each other causing us to giggle.  She played with the tips of her hair often, an adorable nervous habit.  I could feel that there could easily be a good future with her, I hadn't even thought of Lauren since Baylor had arrived.

"Soo," she looked me dead in the eye. "We need to talk about something kind of important."

My heart started pounding, "Baylor, what is it?" I began to panic by the anxious looking facial expressions she was making.

"Well, I know you're not fully out at school, I mean I don't know who know about it but I know you aren't fully out, and I'm not.  So I guess I'm just asking, if you would want this to continue, would you expect me to come out?" Baylor asked uncertainly.

I shook my head and grinned at her, "Bay, I want you to do whatever you feel comfortable with.  Will I, at some point, want to hold your hand in the halls? Yes, but I'll never push you to come out if you're not ready.  My family knows and Dinah does.  They are all very supportive.  I don't feel the need that I need to announce it to people, I want them to just see me in public one day kissing a girl and just assume I'm gay like society assumes people are straight.  But whatever you want to do, I'm fine with.  If you want to keep this under wraps, that's okay, just know I'm not going to make you my dirty little secret.  I'll be out and proud with you or in the closet and happy as can be if you want.  It's all up to you." I answered sincerely.

Baylor sniffled.  "I feel like if I'm with you, I can be myself." she answered simply.

I just nodded and reached out to squeeze her arm reassuringly.  "We'll get there when we get there."

Baylor's eyes began to sparkle again, my stomach did I summersault.  "Did you drive here?" she asked, changing the subject.

"No," I shook my head, "Dinah dropped me off."

"Want me to give you a ride?" She smiled that smile I was already in love with.

"Sure, thanks" I smiled back.

There was a lot of smiling back and forth as we made our way to the car.  I climbed into the passenger seat and we pulled out of the parking lot.  We jammed to the radio and exchanged quick glances every now and then.  About half way through the ride, Baylor reached over and took my hand, grasping it firmly and mindlessly playing with my fingers.  When we arrived at my house she walked me to my door.

"I had a great time tonight." I murmured.

"So did I." Baylor grinned.  "I'll see you tomorrow.  At seven to be exact."

I looked at her confused, "Wait, for what?"

Baylor giggled, "I'm taking you out.  On a real date.  Not one our friend set up.  You and me.  What do you say?"

She looked into my eyes with the most passion I had ever seen.  We both began to lean forward.  Her eyes fluttered shut and so did mine.  After a moment I felt of soft lips meet mine.  They were gone almost as quick as they arrived, but it was the most glorious kiss I have ever experienced.  My insides were on fire and my heart began to flutter.

"I'd love to." I breathed, pulling away from her.

"Good." Baylor planted a kiss on my forehead.  "I'll see you tomorrow."  With that, she skipped away and got into her car leaving me on my front porch, my fingertips trailing where her lips had been on my lips.  I was astonished by how hard and fast I fell for this girl.

Maybe getting over Lauren would be easier than I thought.