I've Always Been Around (Camren)

Chapter 9: Gravity

*Camila's P.O.V*

"Lauren?!" I almost screamed.

"Shut up Camila." Lauren snarled.

She pushed herself into the house, grabbing me.  She spun me around and slammed me against the door, closing it with my back.  Her lips crashed onto me and began to move in sync with mine.  My arms fell around her neck, her hand roamed down my body landing on my waist.  Lauren tugged up lightly and I jumped, letting my legs wrap around Lauren's torso.

Fireworks were erupting in my stomach I have never felt this way before.  I didn't even feel this way when Baylor kissed me.  I felt like I was on some high, just a pure bliss.  Kissing Lauren felt so right.

Lauren held on to me, supporting me by my butt.  Never breaking the kiss, she carried me to the living room.  When she set me on the couch she climbed on top of me.  Our legs tangled together.  Lauren's lips left mine and moved there way down my neck.  Groaning, I wriggled under Lauren.  My hand were placed delicately on her sides, while Lauren was more aggressive with her approach.  She runs her fingers up my shirt, fumbling with the under wire of my bra.

Suddenly what was going on hit me like a ton of bricks.

I disconnected our lips, Lauren bit her lower one while hungrily staring at me.  Her pupils were dilated and her irises glistening.  I couldn't help but be turned on by the sight of Lauren on top of me.

"Laur," I moaned, as she began to kiss my neck again. "Lauren, stop." She squeezed her hand around one of my breasts and I couldn't contain myself anymore.  I moaned loudly and bit her collar bone.  Her hips bucked into mine and she let out a low growl.

I needed to stop because I knew that if this went any farther I wouldn't physically be able to stop myself from letting Lauren have her way with me.

I set my hands on her shoulders, pushing her back slightly.  Eventually to the point of where we were both sitting up.  "Lauren," I brushed my hair out of my eyes to look at her more clearly.  "What are you doing?  What are you doing here?"

Lauren starred at me, her mouth open but she couldn't seem to get any words out.

"Laur?" I asked again.

"I-I'm sorry." she stammered, shooting to her feet.

"It's okay, Lolo.  Sit down, let's talk."

Lauren shook her head, "I can't.  I.. I just can't.  Camila I'm sorry." She turned and ran towards the door.

"Lauren don't leave!" I called after her.  She turned to face me when she got to the door, all she did was shake her head again.  "Lauren! Don't you dare walk out that door." I got up to follow her.

She opened the door and ran to her car.  I ran after her, hitting her hood to get her to stop.

"Lauren!  Don't you dare leave.." I got cut off by her pulling out of the driveway as fast as she could.  "me again.." I said to myself quietly.

"I hate you!!" I screamed into the air after her long gone car, knowing fully well I didn't mean a word of it.

*Lauren's P.O.V*

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

What did I just do?

I let my emotions take over me again.  I let my brain turn to mush and came crawling back to Camila.

Why do I alway come back to her?  Is it really because I'm just so comfortable with her?  Because she makes me feel safe?

I pull into my driveway and run up to my room, ignoring my parents telling me that dinner would be ready soon.

I burried my face in my hands as my thoughts ran rampent.  I felt my cheeks burn at the thought of everything that had happened over the passed couple months.  It all led back to one thing: Camila.

I picked up my guitar and began to play the song I thought was most fitting.  The first couple chords sprun through my ears and I began to sing:

"Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do
I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much
Than to drown in your love and not feel your reign."

I began to get choked up but I continued.

"Set me free,
Leave me be.
I don't wanna fall another moment into your gravity
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

Oh, you loved me 'cause I'm fragile
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while
And all my fragile strength is gone."

Tears glided down my face as I sung the bridge, putting all of my surpressed emotion behind it.

"I live here on my knees
As I try to make you see
That you're everything I think I need here on the ground.

But you're neither friend nor foe
Though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down."

I finally broke, I sang the last bit through hysterical sobs.

"You're keeping me down, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
You're on to me, on to me, and all over...

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long."

I threw my guitar onto the ground, causing the neck to snap in half.  My sadness turned into anger as I began to smash the rest of the guitar.  I found my violin and smashed it against my wall.  I threw my keyboard to the floor and punched a fist through a drum head.  I began to rip down posters and smash picture frames.  I tore the books off the shelves and knocked a lamp off my dresser.

My parents and my siblings came running into my room, with horrified expressions.

"Lauren Michelle!" My mother screamed angrily as she looked about my room.  Her face softened when she saw me crying and hyperventilating.  "Honey? What wrong?"

I couldn't make out a responce just little whimpers bubbled from my throat,

"Laur," my dad said sweetly as I collapsed in his arms, crying into his chest.

Everything after that was a blur.  My parents escorting me into a different room, them returning to mine to attempt to pick up some of the brokeness.

I laughed synically, "It's a metaphor." I thought to myself, remembering how much Camila loved John Green's books, especially the Fault in Our Stars.  "It's a metaphor for the brokeness inside me." I thought again.

- - - - - - - - - -

I don't know how long it took me to fall asleep that night, but I couldn't do it alone.  My head rested in Taylor's lap while she played with my hair, humming a simple tune, as I fell asleep, completely empty inside.

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