I've Always Been Around (Camren)

Chapter 16: All You Never Say

*Camila's P.O.V*

I groaned in irritation as I crumpled up yet another piece of paper, throwing it towards the overflowing trash can.  I replayed the simple melody line on the piano, trying to find the right words to express how I feel.  I normally have no problem with this.  Everything with Lauren has gotten me in a funk.  I can't even play without getting stuck and my fingers smashing together.

I pulled out another piece of paper and bit on my worn down eraser, racking my brain through last nights scene and all the words Lauren said.

'I love you.' I wrote in loose cursive on the first line.  'But you really never said you loved me' I wrote next to it, spit balling ideas.

Remembering Lauren's husky voice murmur those three words was enough to bring tears to my eyes.  One trailed down my cheek and I wiped it away quickly with the bottom of Lauren's shirt that I was still wearing.

A small knock on the door forced me to compose myself, "Come in."

My mother pushed open the door to our music room I'd been locked inside of all day since Lauren left.

"Karla, Es la hora de la cena." (Karla, it's time for dinner)

I shook my head, "No tengo hambre." (I'm not hungry)

My mother crossed her arms, "Usted ha estado en esta habitación todo el día, venir a visitarnos." (You've been up in this room all day, come visit)

I gestured around the room at all the paper, "Mamá, estoy un poco en el medio de algo." (Mom, I'm kind of in the middle of something)

Her face softened, "Okay." she said simply, giving me a little nod before leaving the room.  I knew she wouldn't want to fight with me, especially if it means coming in between me and my music.

I resumed writing, finally getting a few things I liked down on paper.  I was interrupted yet again by another knock.

"Mami!  I said I was-" I started angrily, before turning around to see Dinah standing there with coffee in her hand.

She smirked at me, "Sorry, I didn't realize this was a bad time.  Your mom let me in." She said sheepishly.

I just nodded, "What are you doing here?" I didn't mean to be so cold to Dinah I just had so much going on right now.

She handed me the coffee and sat down on the sofa in the corner, across from the piano.  "We hadn't talked since I told you about Lauren and Luis and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.  Plus you AND Lauren weren't at school today."

A small smile grew on my face, "I'm sorry, I woke up in a bad mood.  Thank you so much for caring." I took a sip of the coffee, the warm liquid soothing my throat which was rough from singing so loud and gut wrenching sobs.

Dinah patted the spot next to her, which I reluctantly took.  "So how are you?" She pressed.

I shrugged, I couldn't find the right to even begin to express what I was feeling.  Broken, empty, and upset were just surface words to describe me.  I felt all those things and so much worse but also so much better because I did in fact feel loved, even if it was just a short moment.

Dinah looked at me skeptically, when her eyes focused on my shirt,  Her eyebrow quirked up, "Since when do you listen to Nirvana?"

I shook my head, ashamed.  "I don't.  It's Lauren's shirt."

She looked at me with sad eyes, "Mila, torturing yourself by wearing her clothes isn't going to hel- wait." She cut herself off.  "Didn't Lauren wear that shirt to school yesterday?"