Puzzle Pieces (formerly Reach for the Sky)

Chapter 25

The night before states. I'm lying in my bed, unable to sleep despite telling myself I need to rest well to run fast, butterflies fluttering in my stomach even as I try to squash them down. The season passed so quickly; it seems as though I hardly had any races to prepare for this moment at all. You're ready, Autumn, I tell myself, but it doesn't calm my nerves much. Deep down, though, I think I know it's true. I am ready.

Each race I've come in a little faster than the one before. A little closer to Maria. Maybe two weeks ago I would not have believed myself fully prepared. But last Saturday was different from every other race I've run.

In the last five hundred meters, Maria and I reached the start of the ribbon, as always, far ahead of the competition this time without East River in the race. I think Maria and I thought the exact same thing in that moment, and when she managed the word "Stay" in between heavy breaths, I knew what she meant. I didn't let go of her elbow to hold the ribbon instead. As our strides quickened together into a sprint to the finish, I stayed with her, a couple inches back and to the right. And we finished the race that way, with me one step and half a second behind her. I'm ready. We're ready. No East River girl will get between us at states.

A light tapping startles me from my thoughts. It's faint, but clear, and my sharp ears pick it up immediately as I sit bolt upright in bed. Someone is tapping on my window.

Cautiously, I feel my way to the window and open it a tiny crack.

"Autumn?" It's Maria's voice, sounding frantic and upset. Outside my window. My second story window. At probably around eleven o'clock at night.

"Maria?" I whisper back, completely confused.

"Yeah. Can I come in? This ledge is pretty small."

Amazed, I open the window and the screen to allow Maria to clamber into my room.

"How did you get here? This room is on the second story! And why?" I'm talking in the barest whisper, the volume of my voice at odds with my tone as we sit on the floor, facing each other.

"Through the woods and up the drainpipe. And I came because I need advice."

"The drainpipe? Are you insane? Or some kind of ninja? Or both?"

"Just desperate. You're the only person I could think of to come to." She sniffs quietly. Is she crying? "I'm not sure if you knew this, but my dad left when I was five. I hear from him every couple of years, but it's mostly just me and my mom. We're really close, and she's always supported me in everything." She sniffs again, clearly crying now. "But the one thing I really needed her support in, she can't back me up."

"Maria? What are you talking about?"

"I'm lesbian. There. I said it. I've known for a couple years now, but never told anyone. I didn't want to try to hide anymore. I wanted to tell my mom first. I thought she would support me. I finally worked up the courage to tell her tonight."

"She didn't take it well?

"She didn't take it at all! She was silent for a long moment, then said she was tired and went to bed. That's it! No answer, no nothing. How could she do that to me?"

I wordlessly walk over and hug her, not knowing what to say. She clings to me like she's falling off a cliff and I'm the only one who can pull her back up. When she lets go, she continues, "And I came to you because I couldn't stand having the only person who knew be someone who couldn't accept it. And because... you... I mean, because..."

"You know." I should be surprised, but for some reason I'm not really at all. "You know I'm bisexual."

"I guessed," she says simply. "And you've never told anyone either?"

"I don't know how. I mean, my father already doesn't accept me, and at school I was just beginning to fit in."

"We'll be each other's support," she says, sounding stronger now. She's stopped crying. "Thank you so much for listening. I really needed that."

"I think your mom will be okay with it, once she has time to think it over. It probably just caught her off guard."

"I hope so," Maria responds, starting to get up.

"Oh, and Maria?" I say, smiling. "You can leave by the door this time; my family is asleep."

"Okay," she says, laughing a little. She lingers a moment, then slips out my room and down the stairs.

Thoughts buzz in my head, vying for attention, but exhaustion soon drowns them out. I fall asleep almost as soon as I get in bed, and dream that I'm flying.